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Government should spend money to encourage of sport and art for school students rather than supporting professional sports and art performances for the general public. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Government should spend money to encourage of sport and art for school students rather than supporting professional sports and art performances for the general public. v. 1
While a few deem assessments as unwanted pressure on students – showcasing only a small amount of their capability, there are people who consider examinations as a decent method of surveying a pupil’s level. This composition will discuss the opposing views on tests – as an assessment – for pupils; further presenting my slant that exams play an integral role in the academy. To begin with, academic syllabuses are being improved over the years. There is enough information and practices that support building the potential of students. As such, additional tests can cause an unwanted compulsion to a beginner, as they are required to provide an added effort to study. To illustrate, young students have to attend classes, submit homework, and then go through the painstaking process of giving multiple exams throughout their academics which may not be applicable in the future. Thus, not completely utilizing their potential that would define their abilities. On the other front, assessments aid in confirming the depth of knowledge gained by students, and evaluates the situation-tackling capability of students. It is necessary to understand where a student stands, from an academic standpoint is necessary, as it helps teachers gauge and certify student’s eligibility. To exemplify, tests are a method to check if pupils are ready for promotion to the next level of education. In addition, with increasing competition outside it has become crucial for institutions to improve their standard of education. Learners faced with multiple challenges early can excel well in the future prospects of their career. For instance, examinations at every academic level prepares student for future interviews and cut-throat competition in the job market. It is imperative to assess learners starting from their early education to check their ability. To conclude, people have varied opinion on the need for assessments in education with some arguing it only casts unneeded pressure. But, in my personal view, assessments can substantially improve a child's performance and capability.
While a few deem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assessments
as unwanted pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
showcasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of their capability, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who consider examinations as a decent method of surveying a pupil’s level. This composition will discuss the opposing views on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assessment
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
for pupils;
further
presenting my slant that exams play an integral role in the academy.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
syllabuses are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
over the years. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
information and practices that support building the potential of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. As such, additional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
can cause an unwanted compulsion to a beginner, as they
are required
to provide an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
effort to study. To illustrate, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend classes, submit homework, and then go through the painstaking process of giving multiple exams throughout their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
which may not be applicable in the future.
Thus
, not completely utilizing their potential that would define their abilities.

On the other front,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assessments
aid in confirming the depth of knowledge gained by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, and evaluates the situation-tackling capability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It is necessary to understand where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
stands, from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
standpoint is necessary, as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
teachers gauge and certify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
eligibility. To exemplify,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
are a method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
if pupils are ready for promotion to the
next
level of education.

In addition
, with increasing competition outside it has become crucial for institutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their standard of education. Learners faced with multiple challenges early can excel well in the future prospects of their career.
For instance
, examinations at every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
level prepares
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
for future interviews and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-throat competition in the job market. It is imperative to assess learners starting from their early education to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
their ability.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have varied opinion on the need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assessments
in education with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguing it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
casts unneeded pressure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in my personal view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assessments
can
substantially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a child's performance and capability.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Government should spend money to encourage of sport and art for school students rather than supporting professional sports and art performances for the general public. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
322 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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