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In recent years, many local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledg v.2

In recent years, many local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? 2
It is a view held that teenagers in many nations are without jobs and do not have any skills, while at the same time, the army requires new members. Hence, service in the military is helpful and mandatory. Although I disagree with the statement made, as laws that impose career choices do not go well with the public. Youth are considered to be the next generation of upcoming leaders. In every country, the prime focus is placed on this group of individuals. Since, they are mature enough to earn a livelihood, they become an asset. But, in comparison to the jobs available few young people match the skill set. This system of demand and supply usually pushes young citizens to do odd jobs. For example: robbery, drugs etc. Devoting one's life to the country is not an ideal occupation any person would choose. The decision to join the army requires strong mental and physical capability. Furthermore, pushing men to join the army, as a last resort will not make them pursue it as a profession. The risk of death has always engulfed family members of soldiers in the field. For example: the people of Syria are in a constant state of war and children are often dragged into the military. Even in Africa, young boys are stolen from their homes and sent to train rigorously in the army for battle. In conclusion, it is necessary to have the border of every nation protected, but no compulsion is to be placed on an individual's choice of vocational goals.
It is a view held that
teenagers
in
many
nations are without jobs and do not have any
skills
, while at the same time, the
army
requires new members.
Hence
, service in the military is helpful and mandatory. Although I disagree with the statement made, as laws that impose career choices do not go well with the public.

Youth
are considered
to be the
next
generation of upcoming leaders. In every country, the prime focus
is placed
on this group of individuals. Since, they are mature
enough
to earn a livelihood, they become an asset.
But
,
in comparison
to the jobs available few young
people
match the
skill
set. This system of demand and supply
usually
pushes young citizens to do odd jobs.
For example
: robbery, drugs etc.

Devoting one's life to the country is not an ideal occupation any person would choose. The decision to
join
the
army
requires strong mental and physical capability.
Furthermore
, pushing
men
to
join
the
army
, as a last resort will not
make
them pursue it as a profession. The
risk
of death has always engulfed family members of soldiers in the field.
For example
: the
people
of Syria are in a constant state of war and children are
often
dragged into the military. Even in Africa, young boys
are stolen
from their homes and
sent
to train
rigorously
in the
army
for battle.

In conclusion
, it is necessary to have the border of every nation protected,
but
no compulsion is to
be placed
on an individual's choice of vocational goals.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, many local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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