Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Government should spend money on adult people who cannot read and write rather than young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Government should spend money on adult people who cannot read and write rather than young people. 1
The reasons for studying a new language are questionable. Some, think it is needed just to travel and get a job abroad. Meanwhile, I am of the opinion that there are other aspects of learning a foreign language that can be advantageous for people all around the world. In this essay I will discuss both views. Many believe that knowing the language of the country that you live and work in is needed to communicate in all practical aspects of life and it is required to apply for a job. For instance, a French physician living and working in England has to know English to communicate not only with local patients and nurses, but also to rent an apartment and to buy food at the grocery store. In spite language is key to travel and work abroad, there are other reasons for learning a foreign language. Firstly, to keep up with the advances and evolution in many professions it is essential to study languages. For example, a great amount of medical guidelines, scientific articles and newspapers are written in a different language than ours. Secondly, we need new languages to make new friends online. For example, there are some particular social media platforms which are only in Spanish or German so whoever wants to connect through them has to understand these languages well. In conclusion, whereas the two main reasons to learn a foreign language are working and visiting abroad, I believe it is also needed to keep up-to-date at work and to communicate with friends online. Thus, languages should be taught in every school, university and in job offices as part of the regular program to improve people's job and social skills.
The reasons for studying a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are questionable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it
is needed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to travel and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
abroad. Meanwhile, I am of the opinion that there are other aspects of learning a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
that can be advantageous for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all around the world. In this essay I will discuss both views.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that knowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
of the country that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and work in
is needed
to communicate in all practical aspects of life and it
is required
to apply for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For instance
, a French physician living and working in England
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
know English to communicate not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with local patients and nurses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to rent an apartment and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
food at the grocery store.

In spite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is key to travel and work abroad, there are other reasons for learning a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Firstly
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the advances and evolution in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professions it is essential to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
For example
, a great amount of medical guidelines, scientific articles and newspapers
are written
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
than ours.
Secondly
, we need new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends online.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular social media platforms which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in Spanish or German
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
whoever wants to connect through them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
understand these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
well.

In conclusion
, whereas the two main reasons to learn a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are working and visiting abroad, I believe it is
also
needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up-to-date at work and to communicate with friends online.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
should
be taught
in every school, university and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offices as part of the regular program to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Government should spend money on adult people who cannot read and write rather than young people. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts