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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. v. 1
Some argue that children should be taught to be good members of the society by their parents, while others think that learning in school is the best way. This essay agrees with both the views. Firstly, the essay will discuss how parents contribute to a child’s development by creating a positive environment at home, and secondly how children learn to respect one another in schools. On the one hand, people believe that parents should teach their children to be good citizens by creating a positive environment at home. Children interact with their parents the most while growing up, and tend to replicate their mannerisms and habits. If the environment is bad, it might have a detrimental effect on their personality. For example, a recent study by the American Social Magazine revealed that children who experienced domestic violence in their adolescence replicate the same mannerisms as an adult. I believe that this view is accurate because parents are responsible for creating a healthy learning environment for their children during the early years of their lives. On the other hand, many people believe it is more beneficial for children to learn moral values in schools because they interact with many students and learn to respect one another. By communicating with other students, children understand the dynamics of a functional society and learn to be more tolerant towards other cultures and religions. For example, a recent survey by the Indian society magazine found that 25% of adults who did not attend schools are involved in some form of communal violence. I agree with this view because values such as empathy, team work and respect for other cultures can be learnt much better in school than at home. In conclusion, it is important to educate children, both in schools and at their homes, because children learn many habits by replicating their parents and schools teach them the be more respectful and tolerant.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
members of the society by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that learning in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the best way. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with both the views.
Firstly
, the essay will discuss how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
contribute to a child’s development by creating a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
at home, and
secondly
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to respect one another in schools.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens by creating a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
at home.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
interact with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
the most while growing up, and tend to replicate their mannerisms and habits. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, it might have a detrimental effect on their personality.
For example
, a recent study by the American Social Magazine revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who experienced domestic violence in their adolescence replicate the same mannerisms as an adult. I believe that this view is accurate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are responsible for creating a healthy learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
during the early years of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe it is more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
moral values in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they interact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to respect one another. By communicating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
students,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
understand the dynamics of a functional society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to be more tolerant towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures and religions.
For example
, a recent survey by the Indian society magazine found that 25% of adults who did not attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are involved
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
form of communal violence. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
values such as empathy, team work and respect for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
much better in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
than at home.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, both in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and at their homes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
habits by replicating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
teach them
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'be' is correct. If 'be' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the be
more respectful and tolerant.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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