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Government investment in the art, such as music and theatre, is waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.1

Government investment in the art, such as music and theatre, is waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. v. 1
There is no doubt that a government should spend it's resources frugally and wisely in different areas. Therefore, it has been suggested by a number of individuals that the investment of an authority should be spent to the betterment of public services rather than squandering money in entertainment purposes. However, I do not accord with the statement and in this essay, I will highlight my opinion with pertinent examples. First and foremost, putting money in a diverse portfolio can make any country's economy stronger than before. This means that an art industry may support the government in the future to generate a steady income flow with more revenues. For example, many US-based renowned music and movie companies and many esteemed artists and actors contribute a decent percentage in the GDP growth of US by putting taxes. As a consequence, the economy might not have to rely on a single contribution from a specific sector. Another advantage is that these creative spaces would divert a number of people to alter their profession. That is to say, as a wave of new professions and skills can be created along with a new field like art, the pressure on the government would be lessened. For instance, there are a growing number of South Asian fresh graduates who do not find any satisfactory work in the creative field due to the absence of artistic companies. Furthermore, many families crave for good music, movies, and theatre performances for the only mean of recreation in their lives. To sum up, a government budget in the art would not only bolster their economy by creating a new source of earning, but also unveil a new line of work for the unemployed population, despite the significance of better public service. In my opinion, a government should keep creating more avenues for a better investment.
There is no doubt that a
government
should spend
it's
resources
frugally
and
wisely
in
different
areas.
Therefore
, it has
been suggested
by a number of individuals that the investment of an authority should
be spent
to the betterment of public services
rather
than squandering money in entertainment purposes.
However
, I do not accord with the statement and in this essay, I will highlight my opinion with pertinent examples.

First
and foremost, putting money in a diverse portfolio can
make
any country's economy stronger than
before
. This means that an art industry may support the
government
in the future to generate a steady income flow with more revenues.
For example
,
many
US-based renowned
music


and
movie
companies
and
many
esteemed artists and actors contribute a decent percentage in the GDP growth of US by putting taxes. As a consequence, the economy might not
have to
rely on a single contribution from a specific sector.

Another advantage is that these creative spaces would divert a number of
people
to alter their profession.
That is
to say, as a wave of
new
professions and
skills
can
be created
along with a
new
field like art, the pressure on the
government
would
be lessened
.
For instance
, there are a growing number of South Asian fresh graduates who do not find any satisfactory work in the creative field due to the absence of artistic
companies
.
Furthermore
,
many
families crave for
good
music, movies, and
theatre
performances for the
only
mean of recreation in their
lives
.

To sum up, a
government
budget in the art would not
only
bolster their economy by creating a
new
source of earning,
but
also
unveil a
new
line of work for the unemployed population, despite the significance of better public service. In my opinion, a
government
should
keep
creating more avenues for a better investment.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Government investment in the art, such as music and theatre, is waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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