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Good marketing is the key to running a successful business. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.1

Good marketing is the key to running a successful business. v. 1
In our modern society, it is easier for people to set up an operation than ever before thanks to the development of economy. However, although I agree that a good marketing is important to have a successful business, I don't believe that it is the key component. On the one hand, it is undeniable that marketing plays an important role to be successful in the business. Good marketing means that a lot of people get to know the business well that will bring more profits eventually. For example, an online shopping service, such as Amazon helps the business being on the market that can facilitate the complicated process like analysing data, storing, transferring and advertising. However, despite the benefit of marketing, I still don't believe that it is the key to run a successful business. While I concede that those intermediate marketing systems like Amazon normally contribute to facilitate the business, however, the brokerage fee is usually high and the profit which returns for the sellers is not always well. Hence, I personally believe that having excellent employers is better to have a successful business. In fact, there are a lot of people who study economics and business nowadays and hiring those who have special knowledge is a cheaper and better way to run a successful business. Finally, probably the best way to run a successful business is that choosing a right place to launch a business. In fact, major companies usually have offices or shops in urban areas, while small business tends to have their office in rural areas. The more people live, the more the service is demanded. In short, while I agree that marketing is a good way to running a successful business, I believe that choosing an appropriate place to start a business and hiring excellent employers are much better.
In our modern society, it is easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to set up an operation than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
thanks to the development of economy.
However
, although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, I don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is the key component.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
means that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
well that will bring more profits
eventually
.
For example
, an online shopping service, such as Amazon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
being on the market that can facilitate the complicated process like
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
data, storing, transferring and advertising.

However
, despite the benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
, I
still
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is the key to run a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. While I concede that those intermediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
systems like Amazon
normally
contribute to facilitate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
however
, the brokerage fee is
usually
high and the profit which returns for the sellers is not always well.
Hence
, I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that having excellent employers is better to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. In fact, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who study economics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
nowadays and hiring those who have special knowledge is a cheaper and better way to run a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
business.

Finally
,
probably
the best way to run a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is that choosing a right place to launch a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. In fact, major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
usually
have offices or shops in urban areas, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
tends to have their office in rural areas. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, the more the service
is demanded
.

In short, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to running a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that choosing an appropriate place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and hiring excellent employers are much better.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Good marketing is the key to running a successful business. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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