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Marketing and promotion is the key to successful business. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Marketing and promotion is the key to successful business. v. 2
Marketing and promotion play an important key role for many companies unquestionably. However, I believe that there are some factors also getting involved with success, such as the quality of products and the competence of the staff. To begin with, marketing strategy and promoting approach aid consumers to be aware of a board range of products. Especially, when people take any transportations, access to social media platforms or watch TV, it is inevitable that advertisements influence our mind naturally. It probably attracts people to purchase the products what they are not really necessary needs and this is how successful marketing and promotion is. In addition of this, doing so helps many start-up enterprises to go into people's mind and succeed during the short term period. On the other hand, even though marketing and promotion is given adequate importance in many firms, the quality of products and service also have impacts on consumer's purchase. For instance, if the staff do not properly explain the function of products or provide professional customer service, it is likely to have negative effects on the reputation of the brands or companies. What is more, a product without adequate innovation and endurable quality also influences its sales for the long term business. In conclusion, it is true that marketing and promotion support businesses to run productivity; nevertheless, the quality of products and good service from employees have a level of influence on sales as well.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Marketing
and promotion play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
key role for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
unquestionably
.
However
, I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors
also
getting involved with success, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and the competence of the staff.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
strategy and promoting approach aid consumers to be aware of a board range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Especially
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take any transportations, access to social media platforms or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV, it is inevitable that advertisements influence our mind
naturally
. It
probably
attracts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
what they are not
really
necessary needs and this is how successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
and promotion is. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
of this, doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up enterprises to go into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mind and succeed during the short term period.

On the other hand
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
and promotion is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
adequate importance in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
firms, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and service
also
have impacts on consumer's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
For instance
, if the staff do not
properly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the function of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or provide professional customer service, it is likely to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the reputation of the brands or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
What is more
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
without adequate innovation and endurable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
also
influences its sales for the long term business.

In conclusion
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
and promotion support businesses to run productivity;
nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
service from employees have a level of influence on sales
as well
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Marketing and promotion is the key to successful business. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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