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The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? v.3

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? v. 3
There is no denying that having a bad habit as smoking bring a lot of harm to our society and health, however, some individuals keep doing it just to satisfy their own necessities and personal interests. The following essay develops some causes and possible solutions for this serious problem. Smoking is an expensive habit which kills people and pollutes the environment, nevertheless, people do not give up for different reasons: social pressure is one of the most important causes, research has found that the majority of smokers started when they were teenagers and they just wanted to do it to fit in a social group, and feel accepted and then it became an addiction; other important reason is that cigars have a lot of chemical components that encourage people to be addicted to them. To avoid people from smoking government should increase the taxes of this product and make it almost unaffordable for everybody, also, banning any cigar advertisement can help to tackle this problem, as most of the companies that sell this product have such a strong marketing to make people believe that smoking will not make any damage or harm in their health. In Conclusion, smoking do not bring any benefits to our world, therefore, we should do everything we can to reduce the number of smokers in society, It is not enough to provide information only about health risks and diseases, it is also important to inform people about how harmful this habit can be to the environment.
There is no denying that having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
harm to our society and health,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
doing it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to satisfy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
necessities and personal interests. The following essay develops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes and possible solutions for this serious problem.

Smoking is an expensive habit which kills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and pollutes the environment,
nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not give up for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons: social pressure is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
causes, research has found that the majority of smokers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
when they were
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
teenagers and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wanted to do it to fit in a social group, and feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
and then it became an addiction; other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is that cigars have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
chemical components that encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
be addicted
to them.

To avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should increase the taxes of this product and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it almost unaffordable for everybody,
also
, banning any cigar advertisement can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to tackle this problem, as most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that sell this product have such a strong marketing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any damage or harm in their health.

In Conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
do not bring any benefits to our world,
therefore
, we should do everything we can to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of smokers in society, It is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to provide information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and diseases, it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about how harmful this habit can be to the environment.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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