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In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v.9

In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 9
In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? It has been observed in some part of the US that adolescents are prohibited to go outside of their homes during certain hours at night or they are allowed to go out of doors only when accompanied by an adult family member or friend. In my opinion, a curfew is vital for the safety of teenagers and to prevent them from involving in anti-social activities. To begin with, I think that the safety of juveniles is utmost important in some areas of the US which can be done by imposing a curfew at specific night hours. This is because many criminals and anti-social groups are likely to operate at night-time, thus they can negatively influence teenagers by robbing them of their monies or valuable items. For example, the statistics of criminal activities happening at night-time in the US shows multiple negative incidences like rapes, murders, and robberies involving teenagers. On the other hand, I also believe that a curfew after a particular night time is of paramount importance for any parents, as it prevents their children from participating in some illegal activities. As some criminal minds preferentially work in the dark, they may lure teens to participate in illegal activities with them. Consequently, they are prone to be arrested by the police and have to face jail for a fair amount of time. If teenagers are accompanied by their parents at night, the chances of their involvement in illegal activities could be minimized. In conclusion, I firmly support the idea of imposing a curfew in sensitive areas of not only the US but also other parts of the world for the safety of adolescents and stopping criminal activities specifically focused on them.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
area of the US, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘curfew’
is imposed
, in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to be out of doors after a particular time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
unless they
are accompanied
by an adult.

What is your opinion on this?

It has
been observed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of the US that adolescents
are prohibited
to go
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
their homes during certain hours at
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
night or
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go out of doors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when accompanied by an adult family member or friend. In my opinion, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curfew
is vital for the safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from involving in anti-social activities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the safety of juveniles is utmost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas of the US which can
be done
by imposing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curfew
at specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
hours. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and anti-social groups are likely to operate at night-time,
thus
they can
negatively
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
by robbing them of their monies or valuable items.
For example
, the statistics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
happening at night-time in the US
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
multiple
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
incidences like rapes, murders, and robberies involving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

On the other hand
, I
also
believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curfew
after a particular
This word is normally spelled as one.
night time
is of paramount importance for any parents, as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
their children from participating in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
minds
preferentially
work in the dark, they may lure teens to participate in illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
with them.
Consequently
, they are prone to
be arrested
by the police and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face jail for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
amount of time. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are accompanied
by their parents at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
, the chances of their involvement in illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
could
be minimized
.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of imposing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curfew
in sensitive areas of not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the US
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
other parts of the world for the safety of adolescents and stopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
specifically
focused on them.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 9

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
322 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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