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Going to university is thought by many to be the best way to secure a good jab, on the other hand, some people think that getting work experience and getting a skill is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. v.1

Going to university is thought by many to be the best way to secure a good jab, on the other hand, some people think that getting work experience and getting a skill is more important. v. 1
It is often argued that many people have difficulty in an oration before an audience. I believe public speaking is imperative in terms of having a successful career; moreover, schools should cultivate communication skills in students from an early age in order to build confidence in them. This essay will explore how these factors justify the importance of public speaking for both children and adults. Firstly, employers demand a person with good communication skills. Since many organizations are expanding their business to the international market, they require employees who can interact with the general public, competitors and, international delegates. Take an example of IBM Australia, which is recruiting one thousand customer sales representatives this year, and the only requirement is to communicate with people to sell their products. If anyone were lacking in this skill, it would be hard to survive in the workplace and job market as well. Thus, prosperity in career is linked to better speaking and presentation skills. Secondly, minors should learn to address public confidently at school. This is to say, institutes should engage students in activities, which give them the opportunity to express ideas in front of others so that the cognitive capacity of students will increase. For instance, research conducted on the primary school students by the Child behaviour society, in the UK revealed that those students who take part in speech competitions, discussions and meetings are more likely to excel in their academic career because of having the skill to present their thoughts effectively. Hence, public speaking should be taught at school is fully justified. Finally, good public speaking is important to build a strong social circle. These skills allow people to catch attention by conveying a message more effectively as compared to the others, which resulted in better relations with others. To sum up, many people have difficulty to face public while speaking, I believe that this skill is extremely important to survive in any organization and to strengthen social circle. Also, schools should polish these skills, in order to build self-confidence in a child.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have difficulty in an oration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
an audience. I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking is imperative in terms of having a successful career;
moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should cultivate communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from an early age in order to build confidence in them. This essay will explore how these factors justify the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking for both children and adults.

Firstly
, employers demand a person with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
organizations are expanding their business to the international market, they require employees who can interact with the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
, competitors and, international delegates. Take an example of IBM Australia, which is recruiting one thousand customer sales representatives this year, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
requirement is to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to sell their products. If anyone were lacking in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to survive in the workplace and job market
as well
.
Thus
, prosperity in career
is linked
to better speaking and presentation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Secondly
, minors should learn to address
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
confidently
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This is to say, institutes should engage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in activities, which give them the opportunity to express
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in front of others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the cognitive capacity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will increase.
For instance
, research conducted on the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by the Child
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
society, in the UK revealed that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in speech competitions, discussions and meetings are more likely to excel in their academic career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of having the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
to present their thoughts
effectively
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking should
be taught
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
fully
justified.

Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to build a strong social circle. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to catch attention by conveying a message more
effectively
as compared to the others, which resulted in better relations with others.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have difficulty to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
while speaking, I believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to survive in any organization and to strengthen social circle.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should polish these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, in order to build self-confidence in a child.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Going to university is thought by many to be the best way to secure a good jab, on the other hand, some people think that getting work experience and getting a skill is more important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
343 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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