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Giving lectures in auditorium to large numbers of students is an old way of teaching. With the technology available today there is no justification for it, and everything should be done online. To whta extend do you agree or disagree. v.1

Giving lectures in auditorium to large numbers of students is an old way of teaching. With the technology available today there is no justification for it, and everything should be done online. To whta extend v. 1
Art is considered an essential part of all countries around the world, however many people think governments need to spend more of their budget on other aspects of the economy because they believe spending on art is wasting money. In my opinion, I disagree that governments should decrease budgets for art development with the reasons shown below. Firstly, art is considered an important literature of a country which records history. For example, people used to draw pictures to document/remember something like the appearance of a building or person before the camera was produced. Moreover, in some countries, art has a significant role with governments establishing and maintaining organizations to protect it. Therefore, people in these countries can visit museums free of cost as maintenance and promotion fees are undertaken by the government. If they do not allocate enough money on art, it might not be protected well, then people will not know the history though art in the future. On the other hand, art benefits the economy of a country. For instance, movies, music, and crafts are derived from art. These are considered very lucrative in some nations like Korea, thus the films of Korea are translated into many languages, then sold to different countries. If the films are widely popular, it will increase the income of a country because the number of tourists who visit Korea will increase. In conclusion, although many individuals think that the government needs to spend money in other areas, I believe that allocating more budget for art could benefit the economy and it is essential of recording the history of a country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is considered
an essential part of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world,
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
need to spend more of their budget on other aspects of the economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is wasting money. In my opinion, I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should decrease budgets for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
development with the reasons shown below.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is considered
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
literature of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which records history.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to draw pictures to document/remember something like the appearance of a building or person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the camera
was produced
.
Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
has a significant role with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
establishing and maintaining organizations to protect it.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can visit museums free of cost as maintenance and promotion fees are undertaken by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. If they do not allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, it might not
be protected
well, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not know the history though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in the future.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
benefits the economy of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, movies, music, and crafts
are derived
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. These
are considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lucrative in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations like Korea,
thus
the films of Korea
are translated
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
languages, then sold to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. If the films are
widely
popular, it will increase the income of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the number of tourists who visit Korea will increase.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
needs to spend money in other areas, I believe that allocating more budget for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
could benefit the economy and it is essential of recording the history of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Giving lectures in auditorium to large numbers of students is an old way of teaching. With the technology available today there is no justification for it, and everything should be done online. To whta extend v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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