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Fresh water resources diminish in large cities in the world each year What are the causes of this crucial problem What are the solutions v.2

Fresh water resources diminish in large cities in the world each year What are the causes of this crucial problem What are the solutions v. 2
In our industrialized world, the most important concern of government authorities is to supply residents of metropolitan cities with the vital ingredient of life which is fresh water. Unfortunately, the fresh water resources are decreasing every year as the consequence of overpopulation and global warming. One of the most important reasons in diminishing water in big cities is overpopulation. This large number of inhabitants needs to access different natural resources such as water or food and the like. Unfortunately, these resources are in danger of becoming short especially in the areas that people use fresh water lavishly for washing their cars, bathing swimming pools and watering the plants. So governments should try to make awareness among people about using this valuable resource in a correct way. In addition, governments should provide two types of water pipes that transmit fresh water and recycled water to the houses. This way people can use the fresh water for drinking and the recycled water for purposes such as irrigation, washing and etc. The other main reason in diminishing fresh water is global warming which is followed by industrialization and green-house gasses. The global warming affects the environment dramatically by decreasing the amount of precipitations and rising the earth' s temperature which results in melting the North Pole glaciers that are one of the main natural resources for water. To solve this problem, governments should provide descent public transportation for residents of metropolitan cities to reduce the amount of co2 that produced by car exhaust fumes. To sums up, decreasing in amount of water resources can lead to a serious crisis in the future and this problem should be tackled by the governments and people by decreasing the birth rate and making improvement in the public transportation.
In our industrialized world, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
concern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
authorities is to supply residents of metropolitan cities with the vital ingredient of life which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Unfortunately, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resources are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decreasing
every year as the consequence of overpopulation and global warming.

One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons in diminishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities is overpopulation. This large number of inhabitants needs to access
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
natural resources such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
or food and the like. Unfortunately, these resources are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of becoming short
especially
in the areas that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
lavishly
for washing their cars, bathing swimming pools and watering the plants.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about using this valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
Consider replacing "in a correct way" with the adverb for "correct"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a correct way
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should provide two types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pipes that transmit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and recycled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. This way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for drinking and the recycled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for purposes such as irrigation, washing
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.

The other main reason in diminishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is global warming which
is followed
by industrialization and green-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
gasses. The global warming affects the environment
dramatically
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decreasing
the amount of precipitations and rising the
Possible spelling mistake found.
earth&
#039; s temperature which results in melting the North Pole glaciers that are one of the main natural resources for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. To solve this problem,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should provide
Did you mean "decent"?
descent
public transportation for residents of metropolitan cities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of co2 that produced by car exhaust fumes.

To sums up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decreasing
in amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resources can lead to a serious crisis in the future and this problem should
be tackled
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decreasing
the birth rate and making improvement in the public transportation.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Fresh water resources diminish in large cities in the world each year What are the causes of this crucial problem What are the solutions v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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