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What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit places such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. v.2

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit places such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. v. 2
In recent year’s it has been noticed that tourists are getting more interested in visiting unexplored places such as the Sahara desert and the Antarctic. It cannot be denied that these extreme places do come with several difficulties for these tourists, but on the other hand these locations do also provide a source of experiencing an unmatchable beauty to them. Tourists from all across the world visit these locations which offer multitude of picturesque views, biodiversity and wildlife which they will remember for their lifetime. For an instance, watching a polar bear in the Antarctic in its natural habitat is truly a moment which every tourists would love to experience. Tourists at these extreme locations experience solitude which is not possible to get at a destination which is very common among tourist which are too chaotic. With several benefits, these locations do have their own limits and disadvantages as well. For an example, locations such as the Antarctic and the Sahara desert could have severly low level of oxygen, snow storm, sand storm, limited food supplies, lack of network coverage, isolation and negligible medical facilities. At times tourists may suffer sever frost bites which may cause threat to life. Before planning their journey to these difficult places tourists are recommended to get their medical examination done. On the total, these beautiful places like the Sahara desert and the Antarctic do come with harsh conditions for the tourists, but they tend to focus on what is beyond these difficulties. With proper planning and calculated risk, the journey of these tourists to these extreme places would truly be the most beautiful experience of their life.
In recent year’s it has
been noticed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are getting more interested in visiting unexplored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
such as the Sahara desert and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Antarctic
. It cannot
be denied
that these extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with several difficulties for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locations
do
also
provide a source of experiencing an unmatchable beauty to them.

Tourists from all across the world visit these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locations
which offer multitude of picturesque views, biodiversity and wildlife which they will remember for their lifetime. For an instance, watching a polar bear in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Antarctic
in its natural habitat is
truly
a moment which every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "tourist"?
tourists
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to experience.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourists
at these extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locations
experience solitude which is not possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
at a destination which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common among
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tourist
which are too chaotic.

With several benefits, these
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locations
do have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
limits and disadvantages
as well
. For an example,
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locations
such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Antarctic
and the Sahara desert could have
Possible spelling mistake found.
severly
low level of oxygen, snow storm, sand storm, limited food supplies, lack of network coverage, isolation and negligible medical facilities. At times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
may suffer sever frost bites which may cause threat to life.
“Before” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Before
planning their journey to these difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are recommended
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their medical examination done.

On the total, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like the Sahara desert and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Antarctic
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with harsh conditions for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they tend to focus on what is beyond these difficulties. With proper planning and calculated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, the journey of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to these extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
would
truly
be the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
experience of their life.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit places such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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