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To some people studying the past has little value in the modern life. Why do you think it is important to do so? What will be the effect if children are not thought history? v.2

To some people studying the past has little value in the modern life. Why do you think it is important to do so? What will be the effect if children are not thought history? v. 2
Studying the history of different nations and countries can be extremely informative for all the residents of the globe. It is believed by a group of people that studying the past is futile in modern life; however, I believe that studying history is valuable since it represent the past and consequently this can provide explanations for the situations we face in the future. The importance of teaching history at schools should not be neglected as well. The most important reason for studying history is obtaining the world class information by investigating the remains of our ancestors which help us to know the past better and react more wisely in similar situations. Moreover, by studying history and with the aid of archaeologists we have the chance to learn more about our traditions and customs which are going to die out in some small communities due to globalization. To prove this claim, I can refer to an article having been published in X magazine, indicates that up to 39% of the traditions such as festivals, local dances and languages have been vanished in the last 10 years all over the world. On the other hand, there are some detrimental effects of underestimating the teaching of history at schools. Firstly, children, who are the next generation and they will lead the world in the future, will be unfamiliar with their past. Secondly, the customs and traditions of the countries will be eradicated easily due to the lack of knowledge to preserve them by the next generation. Finally, children cannot learn how to respect the valuable heritage of their ancestors. To sum up, studying history is a necessity in each individual’s life, since it is informative and helps fellows to have better understanding of their environment. Consequently, they will try hard to protect the remains of history in the future and take lessons from the past.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studying
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations and countries can be
extremely
informative for all the residents of the globe. It
is believed
by a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
is futile in modern life;
however
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is valuable since it represent the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and
consequently
this can provide explanations for the situations we face in the future. The importance of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
at schools should not
be neglected
as well
.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is obtaining the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
information by investigating the remains of our ancestors which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
better and react more
wisely
in similar situations.
Moreover
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and with the aid of archaeologists we have the chance to learn more about our traditions and customs which are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
communities due to globalization. To prove this claim, I can refer to an article having
been published
in X magazine, indicates that up to 39% of the traditions such as festivals, local dances and languages have
been vanished
in the last 10 years all over the world.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental effects of underestimating the teaching of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
at schools.
Firstly
, children, who are the
next
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
generation and
they will lead the world in the future, will be unfamiliar with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
Secondly
, the customs and traditions of the countries will
be eradicated
easily
due to the lack of knowledge to preserve them by the
next
generation.
Finally
, children cannot learn how to respect the valuable heritage of their ancestors.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is a necessity in each individual’s life, since it is informative and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
fellows to have better understanding of their environment.
Consequently
, they will try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to protect the remains of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in the future and take lessons from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay To some people studying the past has little value in the modern life. Why do you think it is important to do so? What will be the effect if children are not thought history? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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