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Fossil fuels(e. g. coal, oil, natural gas) are the main sources of energy in many countries, but in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. Is it a positive or negative effect? v.2

Fossil fuels(e. g. coal, oil, natural gas) are the main sources of energy in many countries, but in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. Is it a positive or negative effect? v. 2
Nowadays, many hold the view that using alternative energy is beneficial to the society, whereas there is a body of view holding that this alternative energy does harm to the public. I will examine both sides of the debate to seek a conclusion. To begin with, it is undeniable that using alternative resource may reduce some environmental pollution, since the replacement of the traditional fuels could decrease the greenhouse gas emissions in the air like carbon dioxide and sulfur dioxide, two main factors of global warming. In addition, using the alternative resource helps to alleviate energy crisis, for the new energy is renewable and gives the conventional fuels chances to be preserved to be standby energy. On the other hand, however, alternative resource is low efficient, as the modern technology is not advanced enough to completely exploit the new resource and put it into use in industrial activities with high efficiency. Furthermore, using the new energy source is normally expensive. The reason is that the machine powered by the alternative energy source is always specially made, which means that the raw material of the device is rare and costs factories a fortune to collect. To sum up, there is no doubt that the new resource is beneficial to improving the quality of the air and helps to solve the problem of energy crisis. At the same time, however, alternative resource is low efficient and commonly costs the civilians a fortune to use. In the final analysis, therefore, one can safely conclude that using the alternative resource influences the society positively.
Nowadays,
Possible agreement error. The noun hold seems to be countable; consider using: "many holds".
many hold
the view that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is beneficial to the society, whereas there is a body of view holding that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
does harm to the public. I will examine both sides of the debate to seek a conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is undeniable that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
environmental pollution, since the replacement of the traditional fuels could decrease the greenhouse gas emissions in the air like carbon dioxide and sulfur dioxide, two main factors of global warming.
In addition
, using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to alleviate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
crisis, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is renewable and gives the conventional fuels chances to
be preserved
to be standby energy.

On the other hand
,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
is low efficient, as the modern technology is not advanced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to completely exploit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
and put it into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in industrial activities with high efficiency.
Furthermore
, using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
source is
normally
expensive.

The reason is that the machine powered by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
source is always
specially
made, which means that the raw material of the device is rare and costs factories a fortune to collect.

To sum up, there is no doubt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
is beneficial to improving the quality of the air and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to solve the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
crisis. At the same time,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
is low efficient and
commonly
costs the civilians a fortune to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. In the final analysis,
therefore
, one can
safely
conclude that using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
influences the society
positively
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Fossil fuels(e. g. coal, oil, natural gas) are the main sources of energy in many countries, but in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. Is it a positive or negative effect? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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