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Many countries use fossil fuels( coal, oil, natural gas) as the main source of energy. However, in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy( wind energy and solar energy) is encouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this development. v.1

Many countries use fossil fuels( coal, oil, natural gas) as the main source of energy. However, in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy( wind energy and solar energy) is encouraged. with this development. v. 1
Nowadays, fuel energy is the overriding concern of governments around the world. Many countries consume mainly natural fuels, while others use alternative sources of energy. In my opinion, I absolutely agree with the second idea. On the one hand, consuming many fossil fuels has undoubtedly taken a heavy toll on Earth’s environment for many reasons. Firstly, excessive exploitation of natural resources could pose a threat to the lives of fauna and flora on our planet because the mining and quarrying make soil become acidic and poor nutrition. Secondly, in modern society almost people consume coal as the main fuel for cars. This means more and more carbon dioxide would be emitted into the atmosphere, which is responsible for the main reason for global warming and ice melting. Thirdly, natural resources are not infinite, if over-exploited will lead to the rapid exhaustion of the earth’s natural resources. For example, Viet Nam once was a rich natural country in the world, however, due to over exploitation and uncontrolled deforestation, resources are becoming to run out. Despite the aforementioned drawbacks above, I am convinced that using substitute resources are much better. By using green energy, people can save raw material and protect our environment. Furthermore, eternal power such as wind energy and solar energy can provide infinite a large of energy for users. Besides, many governments in developing countries such as the USA and Germany, launch a campaign to raise residents’ awareness about environmental issues and incentivize the public to use greener fuels. In conclusion, I believe that the use of other potential power to replace fossil fuels is obviously an indispensable step forward
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is the overriding concern of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
around the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries consume
mainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
alternative sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. In my opinion, I
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

On the one hand, consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
has
undoubtedly
taken a heavy toll on Earth’s environment for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
Firstly
, excessive exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources could pose a threat to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of fauna and flora on our planet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the mining and quarrying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
soil become acidic and poor nutrition.
Secondly
, in modern society almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consume coal as the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
for cars. This means more and more carbon dioxide would
be emitted
into the atmosphere, which is responsible for the main reason for global warming and ice melting.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources are not infinite, if over-exploited will lead to the rapid exhaustion of the earth’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam once was a rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
country in the world,
however
, due to over exploitation and uncontrolled deforestation, resources are becoming to run out.

Despite the aforementioned drawbacks above, I
am convinced
that using substitute resources are much better. By using green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can save raw material and protect our environment.

Furthermore
, eternal power such as wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
can provide infinite a large of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
for users.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
such as the USA and Germany, launch a campaign to raise residents’ awareness about environmental issues and incentivize the public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
greener fuels.

In conclusion
, I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of other potential power to replace fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
is
obviously
an indispensable step forward
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Many countries use fossil fuels( coal, oil, natural gas) as the main source of energy. However, in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy( wind energy and solar energy) is encouraged. with this development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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