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Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishments

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for commiting it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 2
Everyday, we hear about one crime or the other and we also hear about punishments being handed out to criminals. Some people believe that there should be the same punishment for a given type of crime while others believe that punishment should be give out based on the circumstances of the crime and the motivations of the perpetrator. This essay will discuss both sides of the coin and put forward the argument that each crime must be analysed separately. Some people say that a crime is a crime and hence deserves the same kind of punishment. In their eyes, if someone robes a bank off a million dollars or if a beggar steals a packet of cookies from a grocery store, both these crimes are of the same nature and hence both criminals deserve the same treatment. If a person with a past criminal record commits murder, or if a person kills someone in self defense, they both should be equally guilty in eyes of the law. While this line of thinking seems absurd, it does offer one advantage, that of fast tracking the legal procedure. Legal cases are notorious for running for decades and by standardizing the punishments, victims and their families might get closure quickly. However, there is another side to the story. Most crimes are not black and white and there are shades of grey which must be considered before announcing judgements. Consider two scenarios: firstly, a woman who kills her attacker in self preservation and secondly, a man kills and robs another person. Can you imagine both the woman and the man being sentenced to 10 years in prison? Wouldn't that be incredulous! The former is not even a criminal, instead, she is a victim of a crime. To conclude, the merits of assessing each crime on a case to case basis outweigh the merits of treating crimes in a homogeneous manner. Each situation presents a unique set of circumstances and these must be taken into consideration before announcing punishments.
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
Everyday
, we hear about one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
or the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
other and
we
also
hear about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
being handed
out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that there should be the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
while others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should be give out based on the circumstances of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and the motivations of the perpetrator. This essay will discuss both sides of the coin and put forward the argument that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
separately
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
hence
deserves the same kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. In their eyes, if someone robes a bank off a million dollars or if a beggar

steals a packet of cookies from a grocery store, both these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are of the same nature and
hence
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
deserve the same treatment. If a person with

a past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
record commits murder, or if a person kills someone in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self defense
, they both should be
equally
guilty in eyes of the law. While this line of

thinking seems absurd, it does offer one advantage, that of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
tracking the legal procedure. Legal cases are notorious for running for decades and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
by


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
standardizing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
, victims and their families might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
closure
quickly
.

However
, there is another side to the story. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are not black and white and there are shades of
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
announcing judgements.

Consider two scenarios:
firstly
, a woman who kills her attacker in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self preservation
and
secondly
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
kills and robs another person. Can you

imagine both the woman and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
being sentenced
to 10 years in prison? Wouldn't that be incredulous! The former is not even a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
,
instead
, she is a

victim of a crime.

To conclude
, the merits of assessing each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
on a case to case basis outweigh the merits of treating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
Consider replacing "in a homogeneous manner" with the adverb for "homogeneous"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a homogeneous manner
. Each situation presents a unique set of circumstances and these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
into consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
announcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishments

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
334 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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