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Every year several languages die ouanguages in the world To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion v.1

Every year several languages die ouanguages in the world with this opinion v. 1
In the current era, numerous people across the world are suffering from the problem of obesity. Some people say that physical education should be taught at the institute, so that children follows the healthy lifestyle from the beginning itself. In the following paragraph, I advocate my agreement with this statement. To begin with, the kids more likely to follow what is being taught in the school. By teaching them the importance of physical activity, they know in advance, what is good for their health and how to combat obesity and other illnesses. If kids develop this routine in their early age, it is likely that, they follow the same routine throughout life. Secondly, nowadays, it has been observed that, there are many families where both parents are working and in the absence of time, they couldn't look at the eating habits of their children, which leads to obesity, but if a child know in advance about the healthy diet, then these problems would be lessened. Furthermore, introducing physical education in the school curriculum helps in reducing the obese cases and saves the government funds for dealing with the critical issues like poverty and improving existing infrastructure. For example, in the recent survey in India, it is found that obese cases had been reduced by 5% in 2019, because of the yoga classes initiative taken by the authorities. In fact, the government also announced 23 June as a yoga day. Finally, a healthy child can also motivate others, thus helps in creating a nation of health conscious people. To conclude, the physical education plays an important role in person life to live a healthy life and it should be started at the school age itself.
In the
current
era, numerous
people
across the world are suffering from the problem of obesity.
Some
people
say that
physical
education should
be taught
at the institute,
so
that children follows the
healthy
lifestyle from the beginning itself. In the following paragraph, I advocate my agreement with this statement.

To
begin
with, the kids more likely to follow what is
being taught
in the school. By teaching them the importance of
physical
activity, they know in advance, what is
good
for their health and how to combat obesity and other illnesses. If kids develop this routine in their early age, it is likely that, they follow the same routine throughout life.
Secondly
, nowadays, it has
been observed
that, there are
many
families where both parents are working and in the absence of time, they couldn't look at the eating habits of their children, which leads to obesity,
but
if a child know in advance about the
healthy
diet, then these problems would
be lessened
.

Furthermore
, introducing
physical
education in the school curriculum
helps
in reducing the obese cases and saves the
government
funds for dealing with the critical issues like poverty and improving existing infrastructure.
For example
, in the recent survey in India, it
is found
that obese cases had been
reduced
by 5% in 2019,
because
of the yoga classes initiative taken by the authorities. In fact, the
government
also
announced 23 June as a yoga day.
Finally
, a
healthy
child can
also
motivate others,
thus
helps
in creating a nation of health conscious
people
.

To conclude
, the
physical
education plays an
important
role in person life to
live
a
healthy
life and it should be
started
at the school age itself.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Every year several languages die ouanguages in the world with this opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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