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Some people believe increasing business and cultural contacts between countries are a positive development while others argue that it is a threat to identity of a nation? Discuss both view and give your opinion? v.2

Some people believe increasing business and cultural contacts between countries are a positive development while others argue that it is a threat to identity of a nation? v. 2
One of the most noticeable trends recently is a closer connection among nations in terms of business and culture. While many argued that it may lead to the demise of countries’ identities, I believe that it brings about opportunities for one’s progression. There are several reasons why national identity can disappear if cultural and business bonding among countries is strengthened. Firstly, the invasion of foreign cultures, either through media or through business interaction, has made the locals have become more accustomed to exotic cultures, especially younger generations. Many young Asians are captivated by the Western culture which has changed their ways of life. Secondly, taking a look back in history, a plethora of civilizations are vanishing, this started by the loss of own language. Many small communities want to come out of their isolation and seek interaction with the wider world; therefore, they learn other languages to exist. Nevertheless, I believe that business and cultural relationship between countries have resulted in greater economic development. To begin with, trade throughout global thereby improves the economy of underdeveloped countries. Many multinational companies have opened in many parts of the world providing jobs to thousands of locals. Furthermore, those countries can get a chance to spread their culture to others. A unique culture can attract foreign visitors and become a huge income source for a nation. For example, Vietnam is famous for “pho”, a traditional food made from rice, and many tourists want to visit to Vietnam and enjoy it. In conclusion, although there are some reasons why the increased of interactions in both business and cultural aspects between nations has brought concerns over its impact on the identity of each country, in my opinion it can promote the nation’s development.
One of the most noticeable trends recently is a closer connection among
nations
in terms of
business
and
culture
. While
many
argued that it may lead to the demise of
countries’
identities, I believe that it brings about opportunities for one’s progression.

There are several reasons why national identity can disappear if cultural and
business
bonding among
countries
is strengthened
.
Firstly
, the invasion of foreign
cultures
, either through media or through
business
interaction, has made the locals have become more accustomed to exotic
cultures
,
especially
younger generations.
Many
young Asians
are captivated
by the Western
culture
which has
changed
their ways of life.
Secondly
, taking a look back in history, a plethora of civilizations are vanishing, this
started
by the loss of
own
language.
Many
small
communities want to
come
out of their isolation and seek interaction with the wider world;
therefore
, they learn other languages to exist.

Nevertheless
, I believe that
business
and cultural relationship between
countries
have resulted in greater economic development. To
begin
with, trade throughout global thereby
improves
the economy of underdeveloped
countries
.
Many
multinational
companies
have opened in
many
parts of the world providing jobs to thousands of locals.
Furthermore
, those
countries
can
get
a chance to spread their
culture
to others. A unique
culture
can attract foreign visitors and become a huge income source for a
nation
.
For example
, Vietnam is
famous
for “
pho
”, a traditional food made from rice, and
many
tourists want to visit to Vietnam and enjoy it.

In conclusion
, although there are
some
reasons why the increased of interactions in both
business
and cultural aspects between
nations
has brought concerns over its impact on the identity of each
country
, in my opinion it can promote the
nation’s
development.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people believe increasing business and cultural contacts between countries are a positive development while others argue that it is a threat to identity of a nation? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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