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A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position v.2

A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position v. 2
People believe that the state authority invest excessive funds on projects to preserve wild animals, while there are other more pressing issues. I agree that this is true. I will discuss two major reasons why I think that the government spends too much money in protecting wildlife instead of attending to more important challenges in subsequent paragraphs. Government spends heavily on the conservation of Wildlife while there are more pressing issues. One of such challenges is poor health care facilities. Most communities lack proper health care facilities and as a result, people die daily from sickness that could have been easily treated if the wellnness centres were well equipped. For example, the animals in the zoo at the University of Ibadan are in a better state than the patients at the University of Ibadan teaching hospital. The hospital lacks all the necessary equipment for caring for patients and many people have died because they were unable to access proper care. Another pressing issue the authorities need to focus on is the provision of security in the society. Most countries lack good security and people's lives and properties are at risk at all times. For example, a survey carried out by the Sociology Department, Univeristy of Lagos, in 2017 showed that the rate of attacks on individuals and theft of their properties increased by 30% in 2016. This increased crime rate is attributed to the fact that the government has ignored their duty of providing protection and safety to human beings, but rather have devoted their attention to conserving the wild. In conclusion, the authorities are contributing too much fund for the preservation of animals in the Wild when there are more important problems. These important problems include poor wellness facilities and lack of securities of lives and properties.
People
believe that the state authority invest excessive funds on projects to preserve wild animals, while there are other more pressing issues. I
agree
that this is true. I will discuss two major reasons why I
think
that the
government
spends too much money in protecting wildlife
instead
of attending to more
important
challenges in subsequent paragraphs.

Government
spends
heavily
on the conservation of Wildlife while there are more pressing issues. One of such challenges is poor health care facilities. Most communities
lack
proper health care facilities and
as a result
,
people
die
daily from sickness that could have been
easily
treated if the
wellnness
centres
were
well equipped
.
For example
, the animals in the zoo at the University of Ibadan are in a better state than the patients at the University of Ibadan teaching hospital. The hospital
lacks
all the necessary equipment for caring for patients and
many
people
have
died
because
they were unable to access proper care.

Another pressing issue the authorities need to focus on is the provision of security in the society. Most countries
lack
good
security and
people
's
lives
and properties are at
risk
at all times.
For example
, a survey carried out by the Sociology Department,
Univeristy
of Lagos, in 2017
showed
that the rate of attacks on individuals and theft of their properties increased by 30% in 2016. This increased crime rate
is attributed
to the fact that the
government
has
ignored
their duty of providing protection and safety to human beings,
but
rather
have devoted their attention to conserving the wild.

In conclusion
, the authorities are contributing too much fund for the preservation of animals in the Wild when there are more
important
problems. These
important
problems include poor wellness facilities and
lack
of securities of
lives
and properties.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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