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Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.8

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. v. 8
It is often argued that tourists from overseas must pay more than the local people to visit important cultural and historical attractions. I strongly agree that foreigners should pay more compare to local people due to some reasons. Firstly, with tourists have to pay more for the attractions, it can help to minimize the number of visitors, especially the tourists, by all mean, it can prevent the attractions from being too crowded and keep the places clean. Many tourists are not responsible for what they did. For example, littering as they wish and damage the property. This kind of problem will make the place dirty and reduce visitors’ interest to come. Secondly, the income from the tourists which are really high might be used to maintain the place regularly by the government. By maintaining the place, it may helps the place to stay in a good condition. Historical attractions and other monuments need some sort of preservation and special care to keep it in a good condition to long last. The government may give a special attention to the most popular attractions. For instance, when it maintained monthly it will give a fresh look. Place which is neat and beautiful can attract people’s attention to come. To conclude, applying higher fee at cultural and historical attractions for tourists is required to avoid some unwanted problem such as the cleanliness of the places, but it should be controlled and take care of the place to draw people’s attention from all over the world.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
from overseas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay more than the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
cultural and historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that foreigners should pay more compare to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.

Firstly
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to minimize the number of visitors,
especially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
, by all mean, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
from being too crowded and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
clean.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are not responsible for what they did.
For example
, littering as they wish and damage the property. This kind of problem will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
dirty and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
visitors’ interest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.

Secondly
, the income from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
which are
really
high might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
regularly
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. By maintaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, it may
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "help"
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to stay in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition. Historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
and other monuments need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of preservation and special care to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition to long last. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
may give a special attention to the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
.
For instance
, when it maintained monthly it will give a fresh look.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Place
which is neat and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
can attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
attention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.

To conclude
, applying higher fee at cultural and historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
is required
to avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unwanted problem such as the cleanliness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should
be controlled
and take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to draw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
attention from all over the world.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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