Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Foreign visitors should pay more money than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. v.1

Foreign visitors should pay more money than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. v. 1
As we all know, it is a long journey for a person to become a scholar. Some people believe that team work will boost individual cognitive capacity. I totally agree with them and the essay will discuss my opinion. To begin with, it is a truth that group work will encourage the growth of cognitive intelligence and wisdom as long as all members are willing to cooperate and learn together.  There is a Chinese saying, " In a group of people with more than three individuals, there is always a teacher among them. "  Participants will receive feedbacks from the peels during team work. Useful and precise feedbacks will boost receiver's intelligent development and broad their knowledge horizontally. Working in insolation will provide flexible schedule; however, team work may contribute input of novel concepts or ideas from peels which will benefit intelligence growth. In addition, teamwork will provide chances for participants to challenge their cognitive capacities. During the team work, participants are required to stay focused and contribute to their task. Therefore, teamwork will improve cognitive skills, such as attention, memory, and information organization. Meanwhile, the latter will boosts participants' ability to focus, learn, and solve problems. Some studies show that working in a group will help members to understand topics or tasks more thoroughly and easily,  especially for certain sophistical topics or tasks. In conclusion, group work will contribute to the growth of its members' cognitive skills and intelligence as well. Moreover, team work will assist members to practice their mental abilities. Therefore, I believe that teamwork will benefit people and help them become smarter.
As we all know, it is a long journey for a person to become a scholar.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will boost individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cognitive
capacity. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them and the essay will discuss my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is a truth that group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will encourage the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cognitive
intelligence and wisdom as long as all members are willing to cooperate and learn together.  There is a Chinese saying,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
In a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with more than three individuals, there is always a teacher among them.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Participants will receive feedbacks from the peels during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Useful and precise feedbacks will boost receiver's intelligent development and broad their knowledge
horizontally
. Working in
Possible spelling mistake found.
insolation
will provide flexible schedule;
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
may contribute input of novel concepts or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
from peels which will benefit intelligence growth.

In addition
, teamwork will provide chances for participants to challenge their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cognitive
capacities. During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, participants
are required
 to stay focused and contribute to their task.
Therefore
, teamwork will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as attention, memory, and information organization. Meanwhile, the latter will boosts participants' ability to focus, learn, and solve problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that working in a group will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
members to understand topics or tasks more
thoroughly
and
easily
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
especially
for certain sophistical topics or tasks.

In conclusion
, group work will contribute to the growth of its members'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and intelligence
as well
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will assist members to practice their mental abilities.
Therefore
, I believe that teamwork will benefit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them become smarter.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Foreign visitors should pay more money than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts