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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets, many small local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree and disagree? v.6

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets, many small local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. v. 6
It is supposed that medium and small local businesses have died out as they have an underwhelming probability of competing with supermarket chains that are booming robustly over the world. Someone has an opinion that the closure of local business may cause the disappearance of local residents. From my perspective, however, a sharp disagreement is my point of views. The lack of local business can cause several inconvenient problems to the local population. Residents, living in a specific area, usually go to shops near their home like a daily routine instead of going to the supermarkets in the town center. Basically, it is pretty time-consuming and may be more expensive compared to getting goods from nearby stores. An actual example is set out as follows, in case you and your girlfriend suddenly have an interest in sex, and there aren’t any condoms shops around there, except a unique supermarket where is away from approximately 5 kilometers. Consequently, that problem may cause a bit nervous generally in case of the lack of internal business. Even if local business shut down or bankrupt, it also does not threaten the existence of the local inhabitant. As a matter of fact, a number of supermarkets and commercial centers have been springing up like mushrooms after rain, which supply almost necessary things from daily items to luxurious products like mobile phone, laptop or diamond ring, etc. Some supermarket chains built according to the style of modern architecture with open-space and other services attached which results in attracting more people. Indeed, owners always expect those of them is no longer to buy items, but those also are deemed to be the kind of entertainment for people to enjoy. Therefore, the closure of local business is much more difficult to have an effect on the disappearance of the local population. In conclusion, I completely disagree that local stores’ failure of competing can cause to the lack of a part of local people.
It
is supposed
that medium and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
out as they have an underwhelming probability of competing with supermarket chains that are booming
robustly
over the world. Someone has an opinion that the closure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
the disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents. From my perspective,
however
, a sharp disagreement is my point of views.

The lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
several inconvenient problems to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
population. Residents, living in a specific area,
usually
go to shops near their home like a daily routine
instead
of going to the supermarkets in the town center.
Basically
, it is pretty time-consuming and may be more expensive compared to getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from nearby stores. An actual example
is set
out as follows, in case you and your girlfriend
suddenly
have an interest in sex, and there aren’t any condoms shops around there, except a unique supermarket where is away from approximately 5 kilometers.
Consequently
, that problem may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
a bit nervous
generally
in case of the lack of internal business.

Even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
shut down or bankrupt, it
also
does not threaten the existence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
inhabitant. As a matter of fact, a number of supermarkets and commercial centers have been springing up like mushrooms after rain, which supply almost necessary things from daily items to luxurious products like mobile phone, laptop or diamond ring, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
supermarket chains built according to the style of modern architecture with open-space and other services attached which results in attracting more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Indeed
, owners always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
those of them is no longer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
items,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
those
also
are deemed
to be the kind of entertainment for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to enjoy.
Therefore
, the closure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is much more difficult to have an effect on the disappearance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
population.

In conclusion
, I completely disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores’ failure of competing can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
to the lack of a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets, many small local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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