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For the students (ages 5-10), It is better to take a break for every one hour of instruction or let them to focus on lessons for a long period of time? v.2

For the students (ages 5-10), It is better to take a break for every one hour of instruction or let them to focus on lessons for a long period of time? v. 2
Throughout the history, schools have played a key role in children’s life. The controversial question which arises here is that it is better to allow children a break every one hour of class or make them focus for longer period of time. I believe that a short break after one hour teaching is indispensable for children. In what follows, I will elaborate on my perspective. The most remarkable point to be mentioned is that playing affect the juvenier' s life profoundly because during play children learn about way of life and how to communicate with their peers, so a break every one hour provides them with a briliant future. My sister expereince is a compelling example for this. She has a thirteen-year-old daughter who has a lot of problems for speaking. When she was a elementry school student, her mother had argument with her and had forced her to study every moment of break time. Had my sister not have done this cruelsome thing, her daughter has not such a terrible obstacles. Another equally important reason is that the longer period of time the teachers teach, the less concentration the pupils have. According to the fact that the brain has a certain level of ability to focus on something, the students attention decrease within long hours and they become mentally exhausted and they are not able to percieve the concepts the teacher is speaking about. A survey conducted in our country reveals that the brain ability of focusing have a direct relationship with the age and it increas by human aging and it is weaker for children than adults. In conclusion, it is detrimantal for children to make them stay in classroom and listen to the teacher teaching. It is suggested that every school take it into consideration that not only playing have as much advantages as learning various lessons for children, but also their attention weakens after long hour.
Throughout the history, schools have played a key role in
children’s
life. The controversial question which arises here is that it is better to
allow
children
a
break
every one
hour
of
class
or
make
them focus for longer period of time. I believe that a short
break
after one
hour
teaching is indispensable for
children
. In what follows, I will elaborate on my perspective.

The most remarkable point to
be mentioned
is that playing affect the
juvenier&
#039; s life
profoundly
because
during play
children
learn about way of life and how to communicate with their peers,
so
a
break
every one
hour
provides them with a
briliant
future. My sister
expereince
is a compelling example for this. She has a thirteen-year-
old
daughter who has
a lot of
problems for speaking. When she was
a
elementry
school student, her mother had argument with her and had forced her to study every moment of
break
time. Had my sister not have done this
cruelsome
thing, her daughter has not such a terrible
obstacles
.

Another
equally
important
reason is that the longer period of time the teachers teach, the less concentration the pupils have. According to the fact that the brain has a certain level of ability to focus on something, the
students
attention decrease within long
hours and
they become mentally
exhausted and
they are not able to
percieve
the concepts the teacher is speaking about. A survey conducted in our country reveals that the brain ability of focusing have a direct relationship with the age and it
increas
by human aging and it is weaker for
children
than adults.

In conclusion
, it is
detrimantal
for
children
to
make
them stay in classroom and listen to the teacher teaching. It
is suggested
that every school take it into consideration that not
only
playing have as
much
advantages as learning various lessons for
children
,
but
also
their attention weakens after long
hour
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay For the students (ages 5-10), It is better to take a break for every one hour of instruction or let them to focus on lessons for a long period of time? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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