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Some people believe that teaching children is better for a child's development, while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that teaching children is better for a child's development, while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. v. 1
Although in many countries it is mandatory for children to attend school until a certain age, in other places a debate is taking place about whether it is better for children to go to conventional schools or to instead be home-schooled. This essay will argue that regular public schools are the better option. Proponents of home-schooling argue that it is a parent’s right teach their children what they consider to be important subjects, and to avoid those that they deem inappropriate. This may include giving religious instruction or avoiding topics like sex education. Whilst many people would argue that a parent should have this right. I think it is better to leave these discussions in the hands of education experts, and society at large. Moreover, unless a parent is a qualified teacher, it seems disadvantageous to the student to have them taught at home. In a school, children can receive education by qualified professionals who have studied in higher education for many years to develop the skills required to best teach youngsters. A well-meaning parent might not have such abilities, and will instead impart knowledge in a less effective manner. One final argument is that school serves as more than jus a place to learn difficult subjects in the classroom. School is at its core a social experience where students can learn important values. At home, they will be with their families rather than friends, and this cost a child an important part of her development. In conclusion, although there are two sides to this argument. It seems clear that it is better for children to attend schools than to be educated at home. Access to professional educators and opportunities to socialize outweigh the advantages of home-schooling.
Although in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries it is mandatory for
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children
to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
until a certain age, in other places a debate is taking place about whether it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to go to conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
or to
instead
be home-schooled. This essay will argue that regular public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
option.

Proponents of home-schooling argue that it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
right teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
what they consider to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subjects, and to avoid those that they deem inappropriate. This may include giving religious instruction or avoiding topics like sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would argue that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
should have this right. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
these discussions in the hands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
experts, and society at large.

Moreover
, unless a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is a qualified teacher, it seems disadvantageous to the student to have them taught at home. In a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
by qualified professionals who have studied in higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years to develop the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
required to best teach youngsters. A well-meaning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
might not have such abilities, and will
instead
impart knowledge in a less effective manner.

One final argument is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
serves as more than
Possible spelling mistake found.
jus
a place to learn difficult subjects in the classroom.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
is at its core a social experience where students can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
values. At home, they will be with their families
rather
than friends, and this cost a child an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of her development.

In conclusion
, although there are two sides to this argument. It seems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
than to
be educated
at home. Access to professional educators and opportunities to socialize outweigh the advantages of home-schooling.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that teaching children is better for a child's development, while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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