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For centuries mportant part of education have remained such as reading, writing and maths with the advent of computers. some people think that computer skill be made as four skills to be added to the list In what extent do you agree or dissagree v.1

For centuries mportant part of education have remained such as reading, writing and maths with the advent of computers. some people think that computer skill be made as four skills to be added to the list In what extent do you agree or dissagree v. 1
Education is the most powerful weapon used to develop societies and build up good citizens. People opine differently that there are some who see that parents must take charge of their children's education. Whereas, some others proclaim that schools can be the only place, where learning and education must be hand in hand. Personally, I strongly believe that it is the mission of parents to bring up the pillar of society. On the one hand, people claim that parents have got a pivotal responsibility in the processes of educating children since, they are not only considered as the first educational institution, but also the best model to follow. Because children imitate their parents in every single behaviour and practice they do. Like the famous psychologist Hans Steiner says: “the child is like an empty jug that will take whatever you fill it with. If you fill it with the right behaviour and manners, that is what will pour out in the society. On the other hand, other people think that teacher who must take the responsibility of raising a balanced child charging it by enough knowledge and learning tools. Teachers are an eminent tool of education, however, their knowledge can’t be shared in a classroom that contains often more than 38 students. For example, I had studied in public school and I had always issue to understand maths because my classroom was crowded, so my father was in the obligation to enrol me in extra hours. To conclude, parents are the first important source for educating their kids about the ethics of society witch motivates them to respect their societies.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is the most powerful weapon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to develop societies and build up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
opine
differently
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take charge of their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others proclaim that schools can be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
place, where learning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
.
Personally
, I
strongly
believe that it is the mission of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to bring up the pillar of society.

On the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a pivotal responsibility in the processes of educating children since, they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
considered as the
first
educational institution,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the best model to follow.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
children imitate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in every single
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and practice they do. Like the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
psychologist Hans Steiner says: “the child is like an empty jug that will take whatever you fill it with. If you fill it with the right
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and manners,
that is
what will pour out in the society.

On the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that teacher who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take the responsibility of raising a balanced child charging it by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge and learning tools. Teachers are an eminent tool of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
however
, their knowledge can’t
be shared
in a classroom that contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
more than 38 students.
For example
, I had studied in public school and I had always
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "issued".
issue
to understand
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my classroom
was crowded
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
my father was in the obligation to enrol me in extra hours.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source for educating their kids about the ethics of society witch motivates them to respect their societies.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay For centuries mportant part of education have remained such as reading, writing and maths with the advent of computers. some people think that computer skill be made as four skills to be added to the list In what extent do you agree or dissagree v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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