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Food travels thousands of miles from producers to consumers. Some people think it would be better for the environment and economy if people ate local food produced by farmers. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Food travels thousands of miles from producers to consumers. Some people think it would be better for the environment and economy if people ate local food produced by farmers. v. 2
With the advent of urbanization, the food products have dramatically influenced by international cuisines. Countries export their exotic fruits to different parts of the world. However, some people opine that it would be beneficial for a country's economy and environment if the individual start consuming their local food products instead of imported ones, and I completely agree to this idea. As most of these edible items are perishable, they are transported via aeroplanes, ships or roadways. Owing to the carbon footprints emitted by the fuel burned by these vehicles, air pollution is increasing worldwide. If these transportations could be limited and people start using items produced by local farmers, air quality could be improved and environment can be preserved. For instance, most of the small villages in India enjoy fresh and pollution free atmosphere because less transportation is done there, as most people use locally grown products. If we use locally grown products, our country could become self-sufficient and we do not need to depend on other countries for various products. Additionally, this procedure can also help the local farmers to grow and they do not need to depend on any external customers for selling their products. For example, Isreal is one such country that supports their farmers to grow the needed products so that they do not have to depend on other countries for exporting any kind of fruit or vegetable. Consequently, they have grown as a country with a strong economy and other national are learning from their practices. In conclusion, it is better to use locally produced products rather than depending on external sources for exporting it because it can help grow economically and improve environmental conditions.
With the advent of urbanization, the food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have
dramatically
influenced by international cuisines.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
export their exotic fruits to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that it would be beneficial for a country's economy and environment if the individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
consuming their local food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
instead
of imported ones, and I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

As most of these edible items are perishable, they
are transported
via
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
, ships or roadways. Owing to the carbon footprints emitted by the fuel burned by these vehicles, air pollution is increasing worldwide. If these transportations could
be limited
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using items produced by local farmers, air quality could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and environment can
be preserved
.
For instance
, most of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
villages in India enjoy fresh and pollution free atmosphere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
less transportation
is done
there, as most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
locally
grown products.

If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
locally
grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
could become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
self-sufficient and
we do not need to depend on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Additionally
, this procedure can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the local farmers to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
grow and
they do not need to depend on any external customers for selling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Isreal
is one such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that supports their farmers to grow the needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for exporting any kind of fruit or vegetable.
Consequently
, they have grown as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with a strong economy and other national are learning from their practices.

In conclusion
, it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
locally
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
rather
than depending on external sources for exporting it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
grow
economically
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
environmental conditions.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Food travels thousands of miles from producers to consumers. Some people think it would be better for the environment and economy if people ate local food produced by farmers. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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