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The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this newcentury will bring? Use examples and details in your answer. v.6

The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this newcentury will bring? Use examples and details in your answer. v. 6
In the salad days of millenniums, the society is polarised almost into two groups equally regarding to the notion that, many individuals believe that the best solution will be Assign teachers and new schools in countryside areas to provide education. Although, others say that give them computer as well as internet connection in similar areas. Different people have distinct mindset. The following paragraphs would shed light on both the approaches before making of final sheets. To commence with the first notion that, some people appears that make new schools and give teachers in remote areas. There has a myriad things in its favour. First and foremost, the best command is to build some government schools in rural areas for elementary school students. As a result, there will be reduction in Uneducated rate of Particular Country. Secondly, assign teachers in that Schools for children study. Consequently, the poor people kids can study in these schools with the help of best qualified teachers. Furthermore, The council should take one step forward for poor masses welfare because they cannot afford incentives for Children study. If, higher authorities offer them teachers and new education place. Also result, its help to increase our economic progress and standard of living. Shifting towards the second school of thought, it is not essential to provide the PC and net connection. Therefore, it is hard for every person to use the computer without learning the proper knowledge skills. So, there will be some knowledge is required for every person then we can utilise it. Moreover, in the countryside plethora of electricity power Cuts faced by people and there will be high chances of poor network signals. Having discussed the arguments and counter arguments, I would like to state that the education is a main factor for Masses to use the PC software. However, people cannot use the technical items without understanding the proper skills. So, there will be best Solution in access Schooling for everyone. Hammering the last nail, I personally feel although, the government should provide good schooling to every single person. Then, the authority should offer them new Computers as well as internet connection in rural areas for better development.
In the salad days of millenniums, the society is
Possible spelling mistake. 'polarised' is British English.
polarised
almost into two groups
equally
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
the notion that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
solution will be Assign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to provide education. Although, others say that give them computer
as well
as internet connection in similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have distinct mindset. The following paragraphs would shed light on both the approaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making of final sheets.

To commence with the
first
notion that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
appears
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. There has a myriad
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "thing"?
things
in its
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
.
First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
command is to build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students.
As a result
, there will be reduction in Uneducated rate of Particular Country.
Secondly
, assign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
for children study.
Consequently
, the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
kids
can study in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
Furthermore
, The council should take one step forward for poor masses welfare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot afford incentives for Children study. If, higher authorities offer them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
education place.
Also
result, its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase our economic progress and standard of living.

Shifting towards the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, it is not essential to provide the PC and net connection.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for every person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the computer without learning the proper knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
knowledge
is required
for every person then we can
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
it.
Moreover
, in the countryside plethora of electricity power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Cuts
faced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and there will be high chances of poor network signals.

Having discussed the arguments and counter arguments, I would like to state that the education is a main factor for Masses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the PC software.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the technical items without understanding the proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
Solution in access Schooling for everyone.

Hammering the last nail, I
personally
feel although, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
schooling to every single person. Then, the authority should offer them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Computers
as well
as internet connection in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for better development.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this newcentury will bring? Use examples and details in your answer. v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
363 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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