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Few countries think that people at the age greater than 30 can do things like vote for country, marriage, getting driving license etc… while most of the country oppose. What do you think? v.1

Few countries think that people at the age greater than 30 can do things like vote for country, marriage, getting driving license etc… while most of the country oppose. What do you think? v. 1
Most of the countries think that people should do matured things like voting, marriage, getting driving license etc. At 30. Whereas, few countries think, a little younger would be better. I totally agree with the way that few countries think. When people are allowed to do these matured things before 30, they are in a situation to get into the world without the help of their parents. These experiences make them matured in their ideas and thoughts. This also gives knowledge to select their own career, life partner, etc. They become smart enough to survive in society, tackling all the odds to achieve beyond boundaries. Allowing them to do these things, make them more responsible very early. For instance a 19 year old person is allowed to vote, he will definitely know the current political situation of his country. So having knowledge on these things, he would do the better things a citizen could contribute to the country’s development. Many countries think that people may go astray, if they are allowed to do these things before 30. But the connotations of it would be they won’t be ready to face challenges on their own, unable to make right decisions in critical situations. And finally, when they regret for their mistakes, they won’t be able to solve it. Because he may not be younger to correct it. If you ask me? People should make their own decisions from 18 not later at 30. This decision making happens only when they are allowed to do these matured things when they are young and not exactly at 30. Considering the detrimental effects of doing matured things at 30 I think the way that the few countries think was right (I. e. , ) doing these things before 30.
Most of the
countries
think
that
people
should do
matured
things like voting, marriage, getting driving license etc. At 30. Whereas, few
countries
think
, a
little
younger would be better. I
totally
agree
with the way that few
countries
think
.

When
people
are
allowed
to do these
matured
things
before
30, they are in a situation to
get
into the world without the
help
of their parents. These experiences
make
them
matured
in their
ideas
and thoughts. This
also
gives knowledge to select their
own
career, life partner, etc. They become smart
enough
to survive in society, tackling all the odds to achieve beyond boundaries.

Allowing them to do these things,
make
them more responsible
very
early.
For instance
a 19 year
old
person is
allowed
to vote, he will definitely know the
current
political situation of his
country
.
So
having knowledge on these things, he would do the better things a citizen could contribute to the
country’s
development.

Many
countries
think
that
people
may go astray, if they are
allowed
to do these things
before
30.
But
the connotations of it would be they won’t be ready to face challenges on their
own
, unable to
make
right decisions in critical situations. And
finally
, when they regret for their mistakes, they won’t be able to solve it.
Because
he may not be younger to correct it.

If you ask me?
People
should
make
their
own
decisions from 18 not later at 30. This
decision making
happens
only
when they are
allowed
to do these
matured
things when they are young and not exactly at 30. Considering the detrimental effects of doing
matured
things at 30 I
think
the way that the few
countries
think
was right (
I. e.
,
)
doing these things
before
30.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Few countries think that people at the age greater than 30 can do things like vote for country, marriage, getting driving license etc… while most of the country oppose. What do you think? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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