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some people think that parents should teach childrean hoe to be good members of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

some people think that parents should teach childrean hoe to be good members of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 1
In the recent times, there has been a rapid increase in migration of people moving from one country to the other, which has a significant impact on society. This essay would succinctly look into the some of the causes of the immigration and few possible effects it can lead to. People move to another country for high standard of living and better lifestyle, such as quality education, better health care, and for good career opportunities. It is observed that the movement is high from developing countries to developed countries which has better prospects in almost all the industries. To exemplify, a degree obtained from an esteemed university like Harward, is not only recognized globally in the educational sectors, but also results in better job prospects in the professional career. Moreover, the political situation in the homeland could also force people to settle in other nations regardless of their desire to stay at home. However, individual migration has myriad effects on both the homeland and the country they are moving in. The sudden surge in the immigration population could lead to unemployment of the citizens which eventually would bring down the economic stability of the country. In addition to that, the movement of skilled workers and experts trigger the brain-drain situation in the developing countries. In other words, the absence of proficient workers could impact the quality of products that would affect the monetary value of country's Gross Domestic Product. To sum up, people migrate in search of greener pastures to improve their livelihood and their way of life. While immigration provides exposure and connects globally, it also results in declination of country's growth aspects.
In the recent times, there has been a rapid increase in migration of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
moving from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to the other, which has a significant impact on society. This essay would
succinctly
look into the
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
causes of the immigration and few possible effects it can lead to.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for high standard of living and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
lifestyle, such as quality education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
health care, and for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
career opportunities. It
is observed
that the movement is high from developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
prospects in almost all the industries. To exemplify, a degree obtained from an esteemed university like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Harward
, is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
recognized globally in the educational sectors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
job prospects in the professional career.
Moreover
, the political situation in the homeland could
also
force
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to settle in other nations regardless of their desire to stay at home.

However
, individual migration has myriad effects on both the homeland and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they are moving in. The sudden surge in the immigration population could lead to unemployment of the citizens which
eventually
would bring down the economic stability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In addition
to that, the movement of skilled workers and experts trigger the brain-drain situation in the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
In other words
, the absence of proficient workers could impact the quality of products that would affect the monetary value of country's Gross Domestic Product.

To sum up,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrate in search of greener pastures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their livelihood and their way of life. While immigration provides exposure and connects globally, it
also
results in declination of country's growth aspects.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that parents should teach childrean hoe to be good members of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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