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Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. v.5

Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. v. 5
Many people believe that following fashion style is difficult, and they also think that the main purpose of the trend is to sell more clothing apparel. A group of people believe that people should choose their own clothing based on their preference rather than following the update fashion style. To a certain point, I would agree that we should select the clothes that we like and feel comfort in wearing them, but following the fashion style bring many additional points. On the one hand, it is true that people should wear clothes which are in accordance with their own interest. It is obvious that everyone has his own personal taste in fashion, as some people like loose clothing since they are more comfortable to wear. But there are others who prefer to wear tight clothing because the clothes make them feel young and energetic. Besides that, fashion trends are dynamic and change rapidly in just a few months or periods. Some people think it is consumptive to follow the latest style since people must buy clothes more often. On the other hand, it is undeniable that following the up to date fashion style has some advantages for the individuals. Firstly, by wearing the latest style, some people feel more confident in their business. For example, a sales manager might meet many potential clients, and he must have a great confidence in convincing his customer and one of the ways would be to wear a stylish dress. Secondly, it is a fact that certain people are measuring someone based on his physical and clothing appearance. For instance, should there be two potential candidates in a job interview; both have nice personalities, good technical skill and a wide range of knowledge, but one of the candidates wears old fashioned clothes, while the other follow the modest fashion style. The later candidates might have a higher probability of being selected since many people are appraising someone based on their physical appearance and performance. In conclusion, following the latest fashion style is difficult and it is just a commercial act of the producers themselves.   Although it is true that people should wear clothes based on their own preference but I do believe that we should also follow the latest fashion style since it also affects our own performance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
is difficult, and they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the main purpose of the trend is to sell more clothing apparel. A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
clothing based on their preference
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
the update
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
. To a certain point, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that we should select the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
that we like and feel comfort in wearing them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
additional points.

On the one hand, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
which are in accordance with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest. It is obvious that everyone has his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal taste in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like loose clothing since they are more comfortable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are others who prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
tight clothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel young and energetic.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
trends are dynamic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
rapidly
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few months or periods.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is consumptive to follow the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.

On the other hand
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
the up to date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for the individuals.
Firstly
, by wearing the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel more confident in their business.
For example
, a sales manager might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
potential clients, and he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a great confidence in convincing his customer and one of the ways would be to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
a stylish dress.
Secondly
, it is a fact that certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are measuring someone based on his physical and clothing appearance.
For instance
, should there be two potential candidates in a job interview; both have nice personalities,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and a wide range of knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one of the candidates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wears
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, while the other follow the modest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
. The later candidates might have a higher probability of
being selected
since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are appraising someone based on their physical appearance and performance.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
is difficult and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a commercial act of the producers themselves.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Although it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
based on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preference
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I do believe that we should
also
follow the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
since it
also
affects our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
performance.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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