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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree? v.11

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 11
The invention of latest technology has made the world more close. There are merits and demerits to every inventions like the two sides of a coin. Social networking sites are the latest in the market and people have mixed feelings about it. Although personally agree that it have its positive as well as negative impacts on the society. Social media have brought us close. They have made it easier for us to stay connected with our friends and family. We also chat, voice and video call our kith and kin. It is by far the greatest technology to stay connected to our near and dear ones. Moreover, they are a great platform to showcase our talents, creativity and not to mention the latest trends. For example, some of our friends have different talents like singing, dancing and drawing which we came to know about through these sites and most of them has become social media celebrities. Also, the latest trend is to gain popularity through these sites. All in all social media give various opportunities and immense popularity. This being said, there are lots of downfalls. Firstly, most users became addicted to these sites and fail to utilize their time and energy productively in other words, lots of brilliant students struggle with low marks due to such addictions. Often people do not recognise the impact of such media and continue to use it in the same manner. To add on to the existing crime, cyber related crimes are increasing in this century. More and more youngsters are becoming victims. Recent researches show that 1 in 10 teenagers experience depression and have at least once in their lifetime have experienced online fraud schemes and abuses of any sorts. Users need to be vigilant about such scams. In conclusion, social media have a good as well as a very bad face. It is our individual preference whether to experience the best and informative version or to get a taste of the most cunning and dangerous world outside. It is evident that social media had an impact on both individuals and society and we should be alert and vigilant about the situations and never be ignorant about the issues.
The invention of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technology has made the world more close. There are merits and demerits to every inventions like the two sides of a coin.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are the latest in the market and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have mixed feelings about it. Although
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it have its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the society.

Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have brought us close. They have made it easier for us to stay connected with our friends and family. We
also
chat, voice and video call our kith and kin. It is by far the greatest technology to stay connected to our near and dear ones.

Moreover
, they are a great platform to showcase our talents, creativity and not to mention the latest trends.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our friends have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
talents like singing, dancing and drawing which we came to know about through these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and most of them has become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
celebrities.
Also
, the latest trend is to gain popularity through these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
. All in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
give various opportunities and immense popularity.

This
being said
, there are lots of downfalls.
Firstly
, most users became addicted to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and fail to utilize their time and energy
productively
in other words
, lots of brilliant students struggle with low marks due to such addictions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
the impact of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in the same manner.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
on to the existing crime, cyber related crimes are increasing in this century. More and more youngsters are becoming victims. Recent researches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that 1 in 10
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
experience depression and have at least once in their lifetime have experienced online fraud schemes and abuses of any sorts. Users need to be vigilant about such scams.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as well
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
face. It is our individual preference whether to experience the best and informative version or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a taste of the most cunning and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
world outside. It is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
had an impact on both individuals and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
we should be alert and vigilant about the situations and never be ignorant about the issues.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 11

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
366 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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