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Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? v.20

Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. with this view? v. 20
Publics more fascinating if they watching risky Sport. partly public gave opinion to band extreme sport because extreme sport have high risk. i disagree to belt risk sport. Several community thing sky diving and skiing as interesting sport. they like challenge sport and they like risk sport. Sky diving is Famous sport and it make many people want try this sport. For the beginner they are many requirements that you must do. International organization Skydiving have many regulations and also procedure before athletes started and one of them is safety equipment. To start following the sport athletes must go through several training and preparation like another sport for the instance before you exercise you must warm pool so that nothing undesirable as an example of their muscle cramps. Sky Diving and skiing need equipment and also technology because this sport very risk. However, I disagree With belt this sport, people have opinion that’s sport have risk but if you run sport in accordance with the procedure, they can minimize fail. Sport if done according to the direction. Government can’t prohibit this sport because they can decrease interest and achievement athletes. State they can monitor this sport with doing more attention. In conclusion, it is clear to me government must give more attention and supervisor to make sure this sport run according procedure and regulation. each community has an opinion to determine what kind sport must prohibit and they sport type extreme.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Publics
more fascinating if
Did you mean "they're watching", "they are watching", or "they were watching"?
they watching
risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
partly
public gave opinion to band extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
have high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
disagree to belt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
sport.

Several community thing
Did you mean "skydiving"?
sky diving
and skiing as interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
like challenge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and they like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
Did you mean "skydiving"?
Sky diving
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and it
Did you mean "makes"?
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want try this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. For the beginner they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
requirements that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do. International organization Skydiving have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regulations and
also
procedure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
and one of them is safety equipment. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go through
Possible agreement error. The noun training seems to be uncountable; consider using: "some training".
several training
and preparation like another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
for the instance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
you exercise you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
warm pool
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that nothing undesirable as an example of their muscle cramps.
Did you mean "skydiving"?
Sky Diving
and skiing need equipment and
also
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.

However
, I disagree With belt this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have opinion that’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if you run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in accordance with the procedure, they can minimize fail.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
if done according to the direction.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can’t prohibit this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can decrease interest and achievement athletes. State they can monitor this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
with doing more attention.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give more attention and supervisor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
run according procedure and regulation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
each
community has an opinion to determine what kind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
prohibit and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
type extreme.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. with this view? v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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