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Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? v.10

Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. with this view? v. 10
People these days have become so attached to their smart phones and electronic devices that they carry them almost everywhere. There has been considerable debate several times that these gadgets shouldn't be allowed in the classrooms. This essay will discuss why it is necessary to limit the use of such gadgets in school. The first and foremost reason for not allowing students to carry mobile phones and electronic devices to their classes is theft. Students who cannot afford these valuables may think to acquire them through illegal means. As a result of peer pressure, my classmate stole an expensive cell phone from a friend. Secondly, another reason to put this restriction on students is the distraction these devices create in the classrooms. Most of the students become inattentive in the classroom when their cell phone beeps while this interruption fades away the essence of learning. Hence, they get low grades in exams. Moreover, the motivation to study also diminishes due to the usage of social media during lectures. However, proper and effective use of the internet via phones and laptops in class makes it interesting to study. Students can surf the internet to learn additional information on the topic they are studying with their teachers. Moreover, it elevates the motivation level too, as the tutorials become interactive. For instance, watching animations and taking help through explainer videos helps understand the topic better. In short, it depends on the user on how to utilize this technology. In my opinion, there are more reasons to restrict the use of mobiles and laptops in classes as it is a source of distraction and creates a sense of peer pressure. Hence, I strongly agree with the statement that mobile phones and electronic devices have no place in the classroom.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
these days have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
attached to their smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
that they carry them almost everywhere. There has been considerable debate several times that these gadgets shouldn't be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
in the classrooms. This essay will discuss why it is necessary to limit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of such gadgets in school.

The
first
and foremost reason for not allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to carry mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
to their classes is theft.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
who cannot afford these valuables may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to acquire them through illegal means.
As a result
of peer pressure, my classmate stole an expensive cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
from a friend.

Secondly
, another reason to put this restriction on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is the distraction these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
create in the classrooms. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become inattentive in the classroom when their cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
beeps while this interruption fades away the essence of learning.
Hence
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
low grades in exams.
Moreover
, the motivation to study
also
diminishes due to the usage of social media during lectures.

However
, proper and effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and laptops in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it interesting to study.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can surf the internet to learn additional information on the topic they are studying with their teachers.
Moreover
, it elevates the motivation level too, as the tutorials become interactive.
For instance
, watching animations and taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
through explainer videos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
understand the topic better. In short, it depends on the user on how to utilize this technology.

In my opinion, there are more reasons to restrict the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobiles and laptops in classes as it is a source of distraction and creates a sense of peer pressure.
Hence
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
have no place in the classroom.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. with this view? v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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