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Explain how the children's behavior from a trick or treat study supports the central theories of deindividuation v.1

Explain how the children's behavior from a trick or treat study supports the central theories of deindividuation v. 1
That the punishments should be imposed on criminals depending on age group has controversial. Several people argue that the youngsters who break the law should be penalised in the similar method as older. I partly agree with this view. To begin with, the governments should enact the same punishments to resemble crimes regardless of age. First and foremost, imposing the similar way on both the young and adults will decrease the rate of crime, in particular the re-offending level. It is clearly seen that those punishments will act as a deterrent to threat children who have illegal actions, as a result, juvenile will be afraid of penalties and the crime rate will decline. In addition, it is equal to all wrongdoers to be punished the resemble way. The fact shows that if the governments impose the discriminating punishments, young people may take consideration in committing a crime as a normal thing. For example, in Viet Nam, the law about murder is distinguished between youngsters who aged under 18 and adults. This affects negatively on the country's future. On the other hand, there are some reasons to impose the different penalties on different age groups. Firstly, children are not mature enough to aware of whether what they do is legal or illegal. Therefore, the best solution to limit the level of young offenders is to provide them with a better education. For instance, if young people are well-educated and have a good condition or development, they will avoid bad behaviour. Moreover, youngsters should have time to reflect their actions and have a chance to make the fresh start. In order to give juvenile the opportunities, the governments should take into account to impose some laws which are soft on crimes such as corporal punishments or non-custodial sentences to help them have a chance of rehabilitation after committing the crimes. In conclusion, although there are some reasonable causes for implementing the different punishments to the young and adults I strongly believe that it plays an integral part to impose the same penalties to serious crime at all ages so as to decrease the crime rate of a country.
That the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
should
be imposed
on criminals depending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group has controversial. Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the youngsters who break the law should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalised' is British English.
penalised
in the similar method as older. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should enact the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
to resemble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
regardless of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
First
and foremost, imposing the similar way on both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and adults will decrease the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
in particular
the re-offending level. It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
will act as a deterrent to threat children who have illegal actions,
as a result
, juvenile will be afraid of penalties and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate will decline.
In addition
, it is equal to all wrongdoers to
be punished
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'resemble' is correct. If 'resemble' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the resemble
way. The fact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impose
the discriminating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may take consideration in committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
as a normal thing.
For example
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam, the law about murder
is distinguished
between youngsters who aged under 18 and adults. This affects
negatively
on the country's future.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impose
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
penalties on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.
Firstly
, children are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to aware of whether what they do is legal or illegal.
Therefore
, the best solution to limit the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
offenders is to provide them with a better education.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are well-educated and have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition or development, they will avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Moreover
, youngsters should have time to reflect their actions and have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the fresh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
. In order to give juvenile the opportunities, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should take into account to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
laws which are soft on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
or non-custodial sentences to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them have a chance of rehabilitation after committing the crimes.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasonable causes for implementing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and adults I
strongly
believe that it plays an integral part to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impose
the same penalties to serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate of a country.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Explain how the children's behavior from a trick or treat study supports the central theories of deindividuation v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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