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Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas many now suffer from loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions? v.12

Specialists imply that elderly individuals were elated and healthier in the past. The main reason was because they performed more exercise and utilized quality period with friends and family. Nowadays, they endure staying alone as well as health issues. This essay will examine the causes and possible solutions to these problem in details. To begin with, many older people now suffer loneliness and wellbeing problems. The primary reason for this is because they do not reside in the same environment with their pals and relatives which has resulted into depression. For example, in a recent study carried out in Mapo Village, most of the families showed that living without their children and grandkids has made their surroundings very boring. Also, older adults spend most of their time indoor. This is due to the fact that they no longer have the strength to walk around to long distances. In addition, elderly individuals do not consume healthy meals and this has exposed them to medical conditions such as hypertension, diabetes and among others. However, family members and close acquaintances should be encouraged to visit the aged. This will help them in expressing their concerns and creating awesome memories. For instance, a survey done few months ago among the residents of Oyo State showed that most elderly persons are excited whenever their friend visits them. Furthermore, elderly individuals should be encouraged to stay well by consuming healthy diet. This will improve their immune system. Also, older people should ensure they go for wellness checkups regularly. In conclusion, living far away from family members and spending most hours inside their homes are the reasons why the aged suffers loneliness and health problems. Eating healthy diet and doing routine medical checks are possible solutions to these issues.
Specialists imply that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
individuals
were elated
and healthier in the past. The main reason was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they performed more exercise and utilized quality period with friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Nowadays, they endure staying alone
as well
as health issues. This essay will examine the causes and possible solutions to these problem in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
suffer loneliness and wellbeing problems. The primary reason for this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not reside in the same environment with their pals and relatives which has resulted into depression.
For example
, in a recent study carried out in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mapo
Village, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that living without their children and grandkids has made their surroundings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
boring.
Also
, older adults spend most of their time indoor.
This is due to the fact that
they no longer have the strength to walk around to long distances.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
individuals do not consume healthy meals and this has exposed them to medical conditions such as hypertension, diabetes and among others.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and close acquaintances should
be encouraged
to visit the aged. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in expressing their concerns and creating awesome memories.
For instance
, a survey done few months ago among the residents of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Oyo
State
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
persons
are excited
whenever their friend visits them.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
individuals should
be encouraged
to stay well by consuming healthy diet. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their immune system.
Also
, older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should ensure they go for wellness checkups
regularly
.

In conclusion
, living far away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and spending most hours inside their homes are the reasons why the aged suffers loneliness and health problems. Eating healthy diet and doing routine medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
are possible solutions to these issues.
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IELTS essay Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are possible solutions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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