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Excessive personal vehicles is an issue; hence government should envisage other means for commuters. v.1

Excessive personal vehicles is an issue; hence government should envisage other means for commuters. v. 1
Advancement in technology & people’s lifestyle has transformed human life. Have it been, entertainment, advertisement or the internet, nothing has been left untouched and the medium of transport to commute is no exception! Increasing population and number of vehicles on roads have expedited petrol consumption and this has accelerated the carbon mono oxide emission resulting global warming. I believe, government authorities must take this issue as precedence and must devise other ways to alleviate this issue. To begin with, sophisticated scientific advances have manoeuvred manifold alternatives to travel. As a result, dwellers germinate a propensity to own their own vehicles. This shift in tendency has mounted extra pressure on the environment. For an example, as per a survey from Road transport department of India, in the year 2015, the total numbers of private vehicles have doubled in numbers. Evidently, it has raised the bar of carbon emission in the nation. Thus, the government must take an action and devise measures to mitigate the issue. In addition, excess utilisation of petrol, diesel and other natural gases has imparted unprecedented pressure on nations. It can be corroborated by recent statistics of oil import of India, which is astounding 30% of total nation's gross domestic product. Thus, incumbency is on the government to envisage other means of travel such a battery-driven cars to curb the financial issues in the wake of excess petrol utilisation. To sum up, it is true that people would like to use their own vehicles to commute but owing to environmental threat and economical setbacks it is vital for the authorities to devise and develop alternatives ways to commute.
Advancement in technology &
people
’s lifestyle has transformed human life. Have it been, entertainment, advertisement or the internet, nothing has been
left
untouched and the medium of transport to commute is no exception! Increasing population and number of
vehicles
on roads have expedited petrol consumption and this has accelerated the carbon mono oxide emission resulting global warming. I believe,
government
authorities
must
take this issue as precedence and
must
devise other ways to alleviate this issue.

To
begin
with, sophisticated scientific advances have
manoeuvred
manifold alternatives to travel.
As a result
, dwellers germinate a propensity to
own
their
own
vehicles
. This shift in tendency has mounted extra pressure on the environment. For an example, as per a survey from Road transport department of India, in the year 2015, the total numbers of private
vehicles
have doubled in numbers.
Evidently
, it has raised the bar of carbon emission in the nation.
Thus
, the
government
must
take an action and devise measures to mitigate the issue.

In addition
, excess
utilisation
of petrol, diesel and other natural gases has imparted unprecedented pressure on nations. It can
be corroborated
by recent statistics of oil import of India, which is astounding 30% of total nation's gross domestic product.
Thus
, incumbency is on the
government
to envisage other means of travel such a battery-driven cars to curb the financial issues in the wake of excess petrol
utilisation
.

To sum up, it is true that
people
would like to
use
their
own
vehicles
to commute
but
owing to environmental threat and economical setbacks it is vital for the authorities to devise and develop alternatives ways to commute.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Excessive personal vehicles is an issue; hence government should envisage other means for commuters. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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