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Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can cause serious health problems. Do you agree or disagree? v.5

Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can cause serious health problems. v. 5
The eating habits of general public keep changing with time. Some prefer vegan food, some vegetarian and some prefer non-vegetarian. There is a section of people who think that everyone should turn vegetarian to safeguard themselves from health issues. I do not agree with this view. To commence with, eating a vegetarian dietdiet can help people stay away from the diseases. For example, in 2007, H1N1 virus, which infected chickens first, was transmitted to humans by the consumption of infected eggs and chicken. This resulted in the death of thousands of people worldwide. The over-consumption of meat exposes one to the risk of cardiac diseases such as increased cholesterol etc. Moreover, it is believed that a normal, who is vegetarian can get all the required nutrients from the plant based diet. Many people associate vegetarianism to being kind to animals. They believe that killing an animal for food is wrong because they cannot give life to them. On the other hand, eating non-vegetarian food has many benefits to it. The meat based diet provides the human body with the required nutrients such as proteins, vitamins etc. , in ample quantity. This diet has proven to increase the immunity of a person. Many doctors recommend this diet to their patients. For example, a friend of mine had weak immunity and was feeling sick very often, her doctor had suggested her to have red meat too improve her immune system. In addition, seafood is very good, especially for the human health because it provides the human body with Vitamin A, Vitamin K, proteins, Keratin etc. , whose very little quantities are found in vegetarian diets. To conclude, in my opinion, every person is independent to choose their dietary habits. Both vegetarian and meat based diet have their own positives and negatives. Some bodies can respond better to vegetarian and some to non-vegetarian foods. Hence, it is necessary for everyone to be open-minded on this subject.
The eating habits of
Consider using "public".
general public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
changing with time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
prefer vegan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vegetarian and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prefer non-vegetarian. There is a section of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that everyone should turn vegetarian to safeguard themselves from health issues. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

To commence with, eating a vegetarian
Possible spelling mistake found.
dietdiet
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay away from the diseases.
For example
, in 2007, H1N1 virus, which infected chickens
first
,
was transmitted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
by the consumption of infected eggs and chicken. This resulted in the death of thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worldwide. The over-consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
exposes one to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of cardiac diseases such as increased cholesterol etc.
Moreover
, it
is believed
that a normal, who is vegetarian can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the required nutrients from the plant based diet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
associate vegetarianism to being kind to animals. They believe that killing an animal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot give life to them.

On the other hand
, eating non-vegetarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to it. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
based diet provides the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
body with the required nutrients such as proteins, vitamins etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
in ample quantity. This diet has proven to increase the immunity of a person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
doctors recommend this diet to their patients.
For example
, a friend of mine had weak immunity and was feeling sick
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, her doctor had suggested her to have red
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
her immune system.
In addition
, seafood is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
especially
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
body with
The word 'vitamin' is normally not capitalized in the expression "vitamin A"
Vitamin A
,
The word 'vitamin' is normally not capitalized in the expression "vitamin K"
Vitamin K
, proteins, Keratin etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
whose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
quantities
are found
in vegetarian diets.

To conclude
, in my opinion, every person is independent to choose their dietary habits. Both vegetarian and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
based diet have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
positives and negatives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
bodies can respond better to vegetarian and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to non-vegetarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
Hence
, it is necessary for everyone to be open-minded on this subject.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can cause serious health problems. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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