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Every parent has a dream that their child should triumph in every phase of life v.1

Every parent has a dream that their child should triumph in every phase of life v. 1
Every parent has a dream that their child should triumph in every phase of life. But sometimes this vision can be agitating and can concuss the developing minds of the children. The reasons for which are many, which will be discussed further in the essay. To see progress in the life of one's munchkin, every parent makes all possible effort one can. Right from the tender years of the childhood to adolescent schooling, the caretaker leaves no stone unturned. In some aspects this is right, as to get good jobs in midst of multitudes of talents, it is a need of the hour, to be that extra special. However, extreme can be derogatory. For example, while children are studying, their guardian will add extra activities in their routine like a French class or a computer language session, so that these can attract added opportunities. Also, we cannot ignore the fact that every child is special, with different abilities. The measure of accomplishment in the binoculars of a father or mother, can be completely different than their son or daughter. This mismatch, can lead to browbeating, leading to frustration, depression and rebelliousness, attracting many psychological disorders. Recently, in my neighbourhood, I heard a news that a girl committed suicide as his father wished her to be a scientist, who was naturally an artist, unable to succumb the pressure, she ended her life. Hence, to conclude, it is good to see ones offspring achieving heights by their nurturer, but overpressure to be victorious in every facet can be disastrous.
Every parent has a dream that their child should triumph in every phase of life.
But
sometimes
this vision can be agitating and can concuss the developing minds of the children. The reasons for which are
many
, which will
be discussed
further
in the essay.

To
see
progress in the life of one's munchkin, every parent
makes
all possible effort one can. Right from the tender years of the childhood to adolescent schooling, the caretaker
leaves
no stone unturned. In
some
aspects this is right, as to
get
good
jobs in midst of multitudes of talents, it is a need of the hour, to be that extra special.
However
, extreme can be derogatory.
For example
, while children are studying, their guardian will
add
extra activities in their routine like a French
class
or a computer language session,
so
that these can attract
added
opportunities.

Also
, we cannot
ignore
the fact that every child is special, with
different
abilities. The measure of accomplishment in the binoculars of a father or mother, can be completely
different
than
their son or daughter. This mismatch, can lead to browbeating, leading to frustration, depression and rebelliousness, attracting
many
psychological disorders. Recently, in my
neighbourhood
, I heard
a news
that a girl committed suicide as his father wished her to be a scientist, who was
naturally
an artist, unable to succumb the pressure, she ended her life.

Hence
,
to conclude
, it is
good
to
see
ones
offspring achieving heights by their nurturer,
but
overpressure
to be victorious in every facet can be disastrous.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Every parent has a dream that their child should triumph in every phase of life v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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