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Popular hobbies Nd interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashion than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Popular hobbies Nd interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashion than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. v. 1
It is somewhat true that leisure activities change over the time due to some trend and fashion reflection, but majority of interests stay as a lifelong choice among people. I partly agree with the belief that people change activities which they enjoy during their free time. First of all, There are many hobbies affected by trends. Back in the past, board games were very popular because of the movie called Jumanji. Many children and even young people spent their holidays playing that kind of games. Nowadays, in this technological era, kids, young people, and adults choice changed a lot and they choose video games over board games. In addition, people who liked to spend time exercising at the gym moved to yoga classes. There are many types of yoga are in the trend these days. Power yoga, iRest yoga, yoga with meditation, for instance. Yoga became trendy choice after UNESCO declare 21st June as an International Yoga Day. Different yoga style suit all age group. So, some trends influence people’s interests. On the other hand, many individuals enjoy plethora of activities that cannot be changed by the trend. Reading, jogging, swimming, cycling, for example. Reading is one of the activities which never replaceable. People who are in love of reading cannot imagine themselves without a book. Not a single factor like age, trend or fashion can affect these interest. Activities like jogging and swimming were some of the most enjoyable activities in the past and people still enjoy spending time doing these activities. There are many pastimes activities leave an intense effect on people’s mind and these are in that list. Moreover, adults who spend time playing or watching sports, such as cricket, football or golf keep their interest in those games for many years. If due to some reason they cannot play sports, they prefer to watch their favorite games only. In conclusion, many activities which people enjoy during their leisure time stay unchangeable and remain popular against any fashionable trend.
It is somewhat true that leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
and fashion reflection,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
interests stay as a lifelong choice among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
during their free time.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hobbies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
. Back in the past, board
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the movie called Jumanji.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
children and even young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spent their holidays playing that kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Nowadays, in this technological era, kids, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and adults choice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lot and
they choose video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
over board
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who liked to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
exercising at the gym
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to yoga classes. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of yoga are in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
these days. Power yoga,
Possible spelling mistake found.
iRest
yoga, yoga with meditation,
for instance
. Yoga became trendy choice after UNESCO declare 21st June as an International Yoga Day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
yoga style suit all age group.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
interests.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
. Reading, jogging, swimming, cycling,
for example
. Reading is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which never replaceable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of reading cannot imagine themselves without a book. Not a single factor like age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
or fashion can affect these interest.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Activities
like jogging and swimming were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the most enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in the past and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pastimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
an intense effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mind and these are in that list.
Moreover
, adults who spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
playing or watching sports, such as cricket, football or golf
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their interest in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years. If due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason they cannot play sports, they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
during their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
stay unchangeable and remain popular against any fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Popular hobbies Nd interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashion than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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