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Essay#4: Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

Essay#4: Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. with this opinion? v. 2
Following with the rapid development of technology, craft projects and historical remnants now can be viewed online. Accordingly, it is argued that whether there is no room left for public museums and art galleries in the present time. Although I agree there are some benefits brought to our lives, I am more convinced that memorial houses and art exhibitions are irreplaceable. On the one hand, this trend offers us a great sense of satisfaction. To begin with, the Internet users are exposed to a vast of free information about historical events and images of works of artists with a few simple clicks. Furthermore, with the development of scanning technology, people are enabled to dig deep into he texture of painting pieces, which is nearly impossible to complete by the naked eyes. For example, Adobe Flasher Player, MoMA and others provide us with wiser and more specific field of vision. Moreover, online expos provide the customer with significant services that cannot be found at real ones; for instance, there are no opening time restrictions, entrance tickets and unlimited information data. Consequently, this satisfied those who need to search for facts and solve the unknown conveniently and freely. On the other hand, exhibition rooms play a vital role in the company. First off, display rooms supply the visitors with first-hand experience so that they can contemplate artistic masterpieces by the five senses as well as immersed in the atmosphere of historical events and people. To illustrate, there is an interactive toy exhibited in the Art and Science Museum in Singapore can perform tricks. Therefore, computers are poor alternatives to museums. Additionally, storehouses are managed and preserved by the expertise while websites and applications are run by ordinary people, hence by visiting presentations, people can fully fathom the story behind heritages from the past and pieces of painting. Besides, the existence of invaluable artefacts and artistic creations is the expression of diversity in human society, nurturing the beauty of life. Were no places to store historical items and drawing works, with the increase in globalization, inhabitants would seek their origins in desperation and nothing could break the monotony. To summarize, the appearance of digital devices has benefitted each individual as well as our whole community. Nevertheless, I believe that the presence of public museums and art galleries is fundamental to the society.
Following with the rapid development of technology, craft projects and
historical
remnants
now
can
be viewed
online.
Accordingly
, it
is argued
that whether there is no room
left
for public
museums
and
art
galleries in the present time. Although I
agree
there are
some
benefits brought to our
lives
, I am more convinced that memorial
houses
and
art
exhibitions are irreplaceable.

On the one hand, this trend offers us a great sense of satisfaction. To
begin
with, the Internet users
are exposed
to a vast of free information about
historical
events
and images of works of artists with a few simple clicks.
Furthermore
, with the development of scanning technology,
people
are enabled
to dig deep into he texture of painting pieces, which is
nearly
impossible to complete by the naked eyes.
For example
, Adobe Flasher Player,
MoMA
and others
provide us with wiser and more specific field of vision.
Moreover
, online expos provide the customer with significant services that cannot
be found
at real ones;
for instance
, there are no opening time restrictions, entrance tickets and unlimited information data.
Consequently
, this satisfied those who need to search for facts and solve the unknown
conveniently
and
freely
.

On the other hand
, exhibition rooms play a vital role in the
company
.
First
off, display rooms supply the visitors with
first
-hand experience
so
that they can contemplate artistic masterpieces by the five senses
as well
as immersed in the atmosphere of
historical
events
and
people
. To illustrate, there is an interactive toy exhibited in the
Art
and Science
Museum
in Singapore can perform tricks.
Therefore
, computers are poor alternatives to
museums
.
Additionally
, storehouses
are managed
and preserved by the expertise while websites and applications
are run
by ordinary
people
,
hence
by visiting presentations,
people
can
fully
fathom the story behind heritages from the past and pieces of painting.
Besides
, the existence of invaluable
artefacts
and artistic creations is the expression of diversity in human society, nurturing the beauty of life. Were no places to store
historical
items and drawing works, with the increase in globalization, inhabitants would seek their origins in desperation and nothing could break the monotony.

To summarize
, the appearance of digital devices has
benefitted
each individual
as well
as our whole community.
Nevertheless
, I believe that the presence of public
museums
and
art
galleries is fundamental to the society.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay#4: Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
389 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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