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Essay#4: Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.3

Museums are of great importance as they contain the heritage of previous civilizations in all fields and from all ages to convey to us a picture of civilizations we have not seen before, whether historical, artistic or cultural. However, a number of people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. On the contrary, I believe that museums are extremely relevant even though we live in an age of technology and virtual tours of museums or pictures of artifacts can’t replace the real objects seen in person. In today's digitally advancing world, everyone is glued to the Internet, their mobile devices, snippets on Twitter and Facebook, and want to learn and experience via the myriad of video, photos, and personal experiences of others online. Thus, virtual access of archive is gaining popularity instead of personal visits. For instance, Smithsonian Museum of Natural Science's website consists detailed virtual tours for public to access via internet. Also exponential amount of data can b
Museums
are of great importance as they contain the heritage of previous civilizations in all fields and from all ages to convey to us a picture of civilizations we have not
seen
before
, whether historical, artistic or cultural.
However
, a number of
people
claim that public
museums
and art galleries will not
be needed
because
people
can
see
historical objects and works of art by using a computer.
On the contrary
, I believe that
museums
are
extremely
relevant
even though
we
live
in an age of technology and virtual tours of
museums
or pictures of artifacts can’t replace the real objects
seen
in person.

In
today
's
digitally
advancing world, everyone
is glued
to the Internet, their mobile devices, snippets on Twitter and Facebook, and want to learn and experience via the myriad of video, photos, and personal experiences of others online.
Thus
, virtual access of archive is gaining popularity
instead
of personal visits.
For instance
, Smithsonian
Museum
of Natural Science's website consists detailed virtual tours for public to access via internet.
Also
exponential amount of data can
b
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IELTS essay Some people claim that museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by computer. with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
177 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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