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Essay topics: TPO-34 - Independent Writing Task(i devoted only miniscule amount of time to comparison of today's parenting with the one of the past)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Educating children is a more difficult task toda v.2

Essay topics: TPO-34 - Independent Writing Task(i devoted only miniscule amount of time to comparison of today's parenting with the one of the past) Educating children is a more difficult task toda v. 2
Contemporary parents often tend to complain about difficulties which are connected with educating a child in today' s realities. They claim that this task has become extremely difficult because of the advent of cell phones, online games and social networks because their offspring usually spend too much time on them. Although I could understand their prospect, I cannot agree with it. The reasons on which my prospect is based will be discussed in details below. Firstly, to control children' s occupation and education is parents' responsibility. Parents must control their children' s activity on a daily basis. This is parental basic responsibility because progeny by default might hardly organize and manage themselves. In fact, it is unnatural to devote time to studying or education they ought to have fun and run around. Thus a father or/and a mother should limit time which their child spends on the entertainment online or offline. A modern parent may easily curtail usage of the internet via usage of inbuilt means of Microsoft Windows. Secondly, children participation to social networks and usage of cell phones may actually be beneficial for them. Social networks have become an inevitable part of our everyday life and educational system has embraced them as well. In fact, many school educators create groups in the Twitter, Facebook which are consisted of students, their parents and teachers. Consequently, youngsters benefit enormously from this innovation. Their assignments are available online, they may clarify understanding of problematic materials or issues with their classmates and even with teachers and smartphones, e-tables have made the social networks available 24/7 for them thus they always can access needed info. Admittedly, there are some reasons which may allow to someone to state that social networks, cell phones and online games may impede pupils’ education. Chiefly, the one may aver that children spend all their time on playing video games and chatting with their friends about matters which have no connection with their studying. However, I still buttress the idea that those services are beneficial for offspring in case a parent does his job and supervises the activity of the child. In fact, by limiting access to the network, social media a parent gets a perfect tool for steering children' s behavior, which if used wisely, greatly alleviates life of parents and which was unthinkable in the past. To wrap up, the advent and spreading of the social networks, smartphones have mostly beneficial effect on children' s education in case parents do their job properly and control children’s usage of the modern conveniences.
Contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tend to complain about difficulties which
are connected
with educating a child in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s realities. They claim that this task has become
extremely
difficult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advent of cell phones,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
games and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their offspring
usually
spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on them. Although I could understand their prospect, I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it. The reasons on which my prospect
is based
will
be discussed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
below.

Firstly
, to control
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s occupation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039; responsibility.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
control their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s activity on a daily basis. This is parental basic responsibility
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
progeny by default might hardly organize and manage themselves. In fact, it is unnatural to devote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to studying or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
they ought to have fun and run around.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
a father or/and a mother should limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which their child spends on the entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
or offline. A modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
may
easily
curtail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of the internet via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of inbuilt means of Microsoft Windows.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
participation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of cell phones may actually be beneficial for them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
have become an inevitable part of our everyday life and educational system has embraced them
as well
. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
school educators create groups in the Twitter, Facebook which
are consisted
of students, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers.
Consequently
, youngsters benefit
enormously
from this innovation. Their assignments are available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, they may clarify understanding of problematic materials or issues with their classmates and even with teachers and smartphones, e-tables have made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
available 24/7 for them
thus
they always can access needed info.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to someone to state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
, cell phones and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
games may impede pupils’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Chiefly
, the one may aver that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on playing video games and chatting with their friends about matters which have no connection with their studying.
However
, I
still
buttress the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that those services are beneficial for offspring in case a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
does his job and supervises the activity of the child. In fact, by limiting access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a perfect tool for steering
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s behavior, which
Did you mean "is"?
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
wisely
,
greatly
alleviates life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and which was unthinkable in the past.

To wrap up, the advent and spreading of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
, smartphones have
mostly
beneficial effect on
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do their job
properly
and control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of the modern conveniences.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay topics: TPO-34 - Independent Writing Task(i devoted only miniscule amount of time to comparison of today's parenting with the one of the past) Educating children is a more difficult task toda v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
424 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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