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Essay topics: TPO-08 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.1

Essay topics: TPO-08 - Independent Writing Task Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1
There has been a dramatic increase in poverty in some developing and underdeveloped countries over the last few years. This has affected large numbers of people and hiked up their woes. Illiteracy, unemployment, inflation and unstable economic conditions are few factors that have contributed immensely to poverty. However, people’s suffering could be mitigated by providing them health, education and job opportunities. It is often seen that people are reluctant to send their children to educational institutions in poor countries. These institutions could help them in educating and changing their destiny. Despite its benefits, people would like to indulge their children in some paid work, which could not help significantly in altering their present conditions. Furthermore, due to uncertain circumstances of the country, there is a price hike of various basic items that are mandatory for daily life. The exorbitant prices of other goods and transportation also badly affected people financial matters. The government can play a pivotal role to eradicate poverty from society. There should be attempted by the ministry to provide vocational training to poor people. That will enable them to find a good job based on their skills. Moreover, there should be free education for poor peoples; these people should be awarded a scholarship for higher studies based on their lofty performances. To sum up, I would like to say that authority should take preemptive measures to reduce the deficit by giving them professional training and educational facilities. The state could also support financially to poor families if there is no one to provide basic amenities of life to them. It has also ruled duty to ensure that hapless people should not be deprived off from basic life necessities.
There has been a dramatic increase in poverty in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developing and underdeveloped countries over the last few years. This has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
large numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and hiked up their woes. Illiteracy, unemployment, inflation and unstable economic conditions are few factors that have contributed
immensely
to poverty.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
suffering could
be mitigated
by providing them health, education and job opportunities.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are reluctant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their children to educational institutions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
countries. These institutions could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in educating and changing their destiny. Despite its benefits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to indulge their children in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
paid work, which could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
significantly
in altering their present conditions.
Furthermore
, due to uncertain circumstances of the country, there is a price hike of various basic items that are mandatory for daily life. The exorbitant prices of other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and transportation
also
badly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
financial matters.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can play a pivotal role to eradicate poverty from society. There should
be attempted
by the ministry to provide vocational training to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. That will enable them to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job based on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Moreover
, there should be free education for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
; these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be awarded
a scholarship for higher studies based on their lofty performances.

To sum up, I would like to say that authority should take preemptive measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the deficit by giving them professional training and educational facilities. The state could
also
support
financially
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
families if there is no one to provide basic amenities of life to them. It has
also
ruled duty to ensure that hapless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not
be deprived
off from basic life necessities.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay topics: TPO-08 - Independent Writing Task Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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