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"Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. " v.417

" Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. " v. 417
In the modern world, where everything has been digitalised and innovative methods of selling new products have come up, television advertising that is focused on young children aged two to five should not be allowed. I completely agree with this statement as advertisements have some negative effects on the minds of the children. Firstly, the children at that age are far more likely to be influenced as they are still in the developmental phase and don't have their own opinions and with much of the world still new to them, they want to try all of it. For instance, when they see an ad for a new toy or food, they want it, creating a pressure on the parents to buy those things for their kids. Therefore, they may also develop a materialistic idea of the world in the youngsters. Secondly, a large portion of the food items advertised is junk food which is visually very appealing and can influence the eating habits of the child. For example, burger king markets their burgers as big and juicy delicacies and makes the mouth of anyone water. Thus, commercials can sometimes be a cause of obesity among young boys and girls and lead to an unfit lifestyle. Lastly, the ads also lead to kids engaging in behaviours that are harmful for them. To illustrate, certain promotions portray stunts that can be very dangerous. Although, they do come with a statutory warning, it may often be ignored, and kids may attempt to imitate these stunts and end up getting injured. Hence, they affect the overall safety and well being of the little ones. In conclusion, for the sake of children's health and social development, we should definitely consider imposing a ban on television adverts aimed at youngsters.
In the modern world, where everything has been
digitalised
and innovative methods of selling new products have
come
up, television advertising that
is focused
on young children aged two to five should not be
allowed
. I completely
agree
with this statement as advertisements have
some
negative
effects on the minds of the children.

Firstly
, the children at that age are far more likely to
be influenced
as they are
still
in the developmental phase and don't have their
own
opinions and with much of the world
still
new to them, they want to try all of it.
For instance
, when they
see
an ad for a new toy or food, they want it, creating a pressure on the parents to
buy
those things for their kids.
Therefore
, they may
also
develop a materialistic
idea
of the world in the youngsters.

Secondly
, a large portion of the food items advertised is junk food which is
visually
very
appealing and can influence the eating habits of the child.
For example
,
burger king
markets their burgers as
big
and juicy delicacies and
makes
the mouth of anyone water.
Thus
, commercials can
sometimes
be a cause of obesity among young boys and girls and lead to an unfit lifestyle.

Lastly
, the ads
also
lead to kids engaging in
behaviours
that are harmful for them. To illustrate, certain promotions portray stunts that can be
very
dangerous
. Although, they do
come
with a statutory warning, it may
often
be
ignored
, and kids may attempt to imitate these stunts and
end
up getting injured.
Hence
, they affect the
overall
safety and
well being
of the
little
ones.

In conclusion
, for the sake of children's health and social development, we should definitely consider imposing a ban on television adverts aimed at youngsters.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
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IELTS essay " Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. " v. 417

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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