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Essay topics: TOPIC # 56 A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose? v.1

Essay topics: TOPIC # 56 A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose? v. 1
Modern world today, as smoking is becoming contagious, many argue that it should be prohibited in public area since it is equally harmful to the smoker as well as people who are surrounded him. I completely agree the idea of banning because of the health and the economic reasons. Firstly, one good reason to prevent smoking in public place is that it causes diseases to passive smokers as well. When a smoker exhales he empties a large quantity of poison gas outside that is powerful enough to cause dangerous respiratory illnesses such as breathing difficulties and lung cancer. Most of these diseases are life threatening too. Additionally, this habit is seen by the youngsters in the society and they might pick this as a hobby, which will have a long term impact on the society. Therefore, how smokers influence his body as well as others is vivid. Secondly, there is a huge financial burden could be brought by this bad habit to the person who smoke. Since it has an addictive nature, he cannot stop smoking his own. This would make him patient off Some deadly diseases. Eventually, he would end up in big debt as he requires money for treatment and buy cigarette. Apart from this his family might be affected by his health issues. Take the expense of chemotherapy or surgical intervention for lung cancer, it is expensive. As a result the whole society would be faced with various issues. In summary, the need of banning of public smoking is extremely significant as both the smoker and its surroundings would be affected. Thus, I strongly support to have a public ban on smoking.
Modern world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is becoming contagious,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that it should
be prohibited
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
area since it is
equally
harmful to the smoker
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are surrounded
him. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of banning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the health and the economic reasons.

Firstly
, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
place is that it causes diseases to passive smokers
as well
. When a smoker exhales he empties a large quantity of poison gas outside
that is
powerful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
respiratory illnesses such as breathing difficulties and lung cancer. Most of these diseases are life threatening too.
Additionally
, this habit is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by the youngsters in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
they might pick this as a hobby, which will have a long term impact on the society.
Therefore
, how smokers influence his body
as well
as others is vivid.

Secondly
, there is a huge financial burden could
be brought
by this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit to the person who smoke. Since it has an addictive nature, he cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him patient
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
off


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
deadly diseases.
Eventually
, he would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
debt as he requires money for treatment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
cigarette. Apart from this his family might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by his health issues. Take the expense of chemotherapy or surgical intervention for lung cancer, it is expensive.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result the whole society would
be faced
with various issues.

In summary, the need of banning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is
extremely
significant as both the smoker and its surroundings would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
Thus
, I
strongly
support to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
ban on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay topics: TOPIC # 56 A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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