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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Good teachers set challenging tasks for their students. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.248

Good teachers set challenging tasks for their students. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 248
Adolescents who live in the countryside tend to leave their hometown and start living in big cities for various reasons. In this essay further effects of this issue will be discussed and I will put forward solutions for this problem. Regarding to that most amenities, high quality educational institutions are situated in cities and in big towns, the majority of teenagers move to live in cities. To get better education and improve life, teenagers relocate to dwell in cities, leaving old people in the countrysides. This phenomenon will have a detrimental effect on both developments in the country and local citizens. Firstly, this migration will increase the city's density, which leads to overpopulation. Thus, overpopulation will overcrowd the city, which could lead to unemployment. Secondly, the advance of rural areas must not be abandoned. Because of that migrated adolescents get used to the new environment, they are less likely to go back to their hometown and contribute to the improvement of the countryside. Last but not least, left old people compared to young people can barely use technology, which is core for the development of the country and individual, and cannot keep up with latest version of it. To tackle this problem, governments should provide better educational institutes and hospitalizations in rural areas. For instance, more branches of high quality brand shops and amenities should be opened. It is up to governments to encourage people to stay by offering better work conditions. More working places with high paying salaries is needed. Furthermore, some universities should be relocated to rural areas. In conclusion, due to that teenagers leaving their hometowns to dwell in big cities can cause serious problems. And these problems can be solved by governments offering better life conditions in the countrysides.
Adolescents who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their hometown and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for various reasons. In this essay
further
effects of this issue will
be discussed
and I will put forward solutions for this problem.

The phrase 'Regarding to' is not correct. Use "Regarding" or "regard to".
Regarding to
that most amenities, high quality educational institutions
are situated
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
towns, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
life,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
relocate to dwell in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, leaving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countrysides
. This phenomenon will have a detrimental effect on both developments in the country and local citizens.
Firstly
, this migration will increase the city's density, which leads to overpopulation.
Thus
, overpopulation will overcrowd the city, which could lead to unemployment.
Secondly
, the advance of rural areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be abandoned
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that migrated adolescents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the new environment, they are less likely to go back to their hometown and contribute to the improvement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
compared to young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
barely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology, which is core for the development of the country and individual, and cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
version of it.

To tackle this problem,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
educational institutes and hospitalizations in rural areas.
For instance
, more branches of high quality brand shops and amenities should
be opened
. It is up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay by offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
work conditions. More working places with high paying salaries
is needed
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
universities should
be relocated
to rural areas.

In conclusion
, due to that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
leaving their hometowns to dwell in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can cause serious problems. And these problems can
be solved
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life conditions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countrysides
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Good teachers set challenging tasks for their students. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 248

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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