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Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement. v.1

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable. with this statement. v. 1
It is always argued that whether it is acceptable to advertise in any way? In my opinion, some methods in the advertising are unethical and should be prevented. For the first, misinformation in advertising deceives people and creates unreal needs for them. It raises demand for goods that are not really necessary in our life and lead to consumerism. For instance, my sister has several kinds of cosmetic products, such as lots of creams and face washes, just because of their brands attractive advertisements. Moreover, some advertising lie people just to occupy the market. For example, DAFINEH is an oil brand in my country which is very smelly and has a bad taste but, it’s advertisement show people something delicious. Furthermore, some advertisements abuse children. Kids like to play and spend their time with their peers. But, advertising system makes them work and play a role, just because of their financial profits. Unfortunately, their parent accepts this approach due to the aforementioned reason. Also, exploitation of women is another unethical method of advertising. For example, they show women who are washing the dishes or cooking, and create some wrong idea among people. They dissemination this thinking that women should work in the kitchen and make foods or do house chores. Moreover, cosmetic surgeries advertisement lower people specially women’s confidence and encourage them to do surgery on their body to become beautiful like models. In conclusion, from my point of view, although advertising boost the markets, producers should not use any unethical way to introduce their harvests.
It is always argued that whether it is acceptable to advertise in any way? In my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
methods in the advertising are unethical and should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
.

For the
first
, misinformation in advertising deceives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and creates unreal needs for them. It raises demand for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
that are not
really
necessary in our life and lead to consumerism.
For instance
, my sister has several kinds of cosmetic products, such as lots of creams and face washes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their brands attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advertising lie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to occupy the market.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
DAFINEH
is an oil brand in my country which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
smelly and has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
taste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
something delicious.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
abuse children. Kids like to play and spend their time with their peers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, advertising system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them work and play a role,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their financial profits. Unfortunately, their parent accepts this approach due to the aforementioned reason.
Also
, exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is another unethical method of advertising.
For example
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who are washing the dishes or cooking, and create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'They'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
They dissemination
this thinking that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should work in the kitchen and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
foods or do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores.
Moreover
, cosmetic surgeries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
specially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
confidence and encourage them to do surgery on their body to become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
like models.

In conclusion
, from my point of view, although advertising boost the markets, producers should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
any unethical way to introduce their harvests.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable. with this statement. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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