Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Entertainment or leisure activities should be subsidized by the government To what extend do agree or disagree v.1

Entertainment or leisure activities should be subsidized by the government 1
In this expeditiously transforming world, subjects related to health care and education have attracted a lot of voices. The free provision of such facilities is a highly debated topic and I believe that it should be government funded and provided free of cost to the people. To embark on the outlook, which supports it to be the government's responsibility, some savants propound that it is the right of the citizens to experience good health and education, and there are many who are incompetent to afford that. Thus, the ministry should play a vital role in serving that provision. Moreover, a healthy and educated society will help in the elevated growth of a country. For example, there are many countries like the United Kingdom and Canada, that provide free or low cost facilities for the needy and the premium is taken as a part of the task. As a result, the level of lifestyle of each individual has increased. To accentuate the compelling thought, which is not in favour of this, some reckon that this opportunity might be exploited by many and hence, no authenticity will be left. For example, a lot of citizens might take an undue advantage of this option by faking certain diseases and taking the chance of a person who actually needs it. Furthermore, it is observed that while catering to a prodigious number of people, the quality of service gets mitigated, therefore leading to an unfulfilled purpose. To summarize, I would say that like the two sides of every coin, for the development of a country, support from the government is vital, and hence they should take the responsibility of providing free health care and education and this may further be supported by the tax collected from the citizens. It will not only help in elevating the status of an individual, but also lead to the advancement of a country as a whole.
In this
expeditiously
transforming world, subjects related to health care and education have attracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
voices. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
provision of such facilities is a
highly
debated topic and I believe that it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funded and provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of cost to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To embark on the outlook, which supports it to be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's responsibility,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
savants propound that it is the right of the citizens to experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health and education, and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who are incompetent to afford that.
Thus
, the ministry should play a vital role in serving that provision.
Moreover
, a healthy and educated society will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the elevated growth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like the United Kingdom and Canada, that provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
or low cost facilities for the needy and the premium
is taken
as a part of the task.
As a result
, the level of lifestyle of each individual has increased.

To accentuate the compelling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, which is not in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reckon that this opportunity might
be exploited
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and
hence
, no authenticity will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
citizens might take an undue advantage of this option by faking certain diseases and taking the chance of a person who actually needs it.
Furthermore
, it
is observed
that while catering to a prodigious number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the quality of service
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
mitigated,
therefore
leading to an unfulfilled purpose.

To summarize
, I would say that like the two sides of every coin, for the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, support from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is vital, and
hence
they should take the responsibility of providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
health care and education and this may
further
be supported
by the tax collected from the citizens. It will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in elevating the status of an individual,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
lead to the advancement of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as a whole.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Entertainment or leisure activities should be subsidized by the government 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts