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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.46

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. v. 46
Finding a suitable employee could be a difficult task. These days employers resort to asking people for personal information that may provide details outside of the applicant's past experience and education. This essay will discuss few reasons behind whether it's a good practice or not and offer a personal opinion. Why does an employer ask personal questions? To begin with, now a days, when many qualified candidates apply for a single open position, then employers want to differentiate relevancy of each candidate beyond qualification which includes evaluating cultural fit. Research shows the employees are more productive and happy when they work with people they like and relate to. Knowledge about one's interests and hobbies could help provide a complete view of their profile and allow hiring managers to make the best decision based on how she will fit into the company's culture. On the other hand, asking for marital status could lead to bias in decision making. Hiring committees at many big companies have banned personal questions such as “Single” or “Married” from application forms to avoid any discrimination. Findings from internal research have shown, personal questions and their answers provide very little, if any, help in assessing candidate's future prospect. Clearly, hiring only based on qualification relevant to duties produces better results and performance down the line. In conclusion, this essay, thus far, has shown both views why employers lean towards or against asking for personal data. In my opinion, hiring manager needs only objective facts that relate to the job requirement to make optimal decisions without any bias. Offering job only on person's qualification is not only best of both parties, but also fair and creates higher standards in the workplace.
Finding a suitable employee could be a difficult task. These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
resort to asking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
information that may provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the applicant's
Consider using "experience".
past experience
and education. This essay will discuss few reasons behind whether it's a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
practice or not and offer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
opinion.

Why does an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
questions? To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
, when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
qualified candidates apply for a single open position, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
want to differentiate relevancy of each candidate beyond qualification which includes evaluating cultural fit. Research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the employees are more productive and happy when they work with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
they like and relate to. Knowledge about one's interests and hobbies could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
provide a complete view of their profile and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
managers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best decision based on how she will fit into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's culture.

On the other hand
, asking for marital status could lead to bias in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hiring
committees at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have banned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
questions such as “Single” or “Married” from application forms to avoid any discrimination. Findings from internal research have shown,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
questions and their answers provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
, if any,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in assessing candidate's future prospect.
Clearly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
based on qualification relevant to duties produces better results and performance down the line.

In conclusion
, this essay,
thus
far, has shown both views why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
lean towards or against asking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
data. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
manager needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
objective facts that relate to the job requirement to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
optimal decisions without any bias. Offering job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
on person's qualification is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
best of both parties,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
and creates higher standards in the workplace.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. v. 46

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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